The purpose of this blog is to provide a holding, attuned, and provocative space for the mysteries of your heart to unfold. All of you is welcome here, in all of your glory - the painful, the joyous, the heartbroken, and the weary. The invitation is to see your entire life as an expression of high-voltage, creative guidance, and for you to offer yourself to the endless and infinite dimension of love that is emerging within and around you right now.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
Doing nothing a radical act of kindness
There is such a deeply rooted belief that we must do
something with intense surges of feeling and emotion as they wash through:
understand them, determine their cause, link them to some life circumstance or
person, change them, transform them, eliminate them, or even “heal” them.
Somehow we lose touch with entering into relationship with them.
This organization was weaved into our sensitive nervous
systems as young children when we did not have the capacity to metabolize the
intensity in an environment of empathic, attuned presence. Out of this we
created our unique strategies of reaction and avoidance, often rooted in
quickly removing ourselves from very intense, dysregulating states of
vulnerability and psychic overwhelm. This was not neurotic, but adaptive. It
was intelligent, and represented the best ways we knew to care for ourselves at
But here you are, no longer a child in your family of
origin, and longing to fully participate here. To feel fully alive. To practice
intimacy with external others as well as the “other” inside you that is surging
to be held and integrated.
What if for just one moment, you did absolutely nothing in
relation to the arising of emotional intensity? If you neither repressed nor
denied it, nor urgently scrambled to seek relief from it? If you did not spin
to apply spiritual teachings to your vulnerability, but moved toward it, with a
fiery commitment to no longer abandon yourself. To curiously explore what is
appearing and its qualities, trusting in the activity of the wisdom-guests and
intelligence they carry.
What would happen if you replaced the demand for relief
with the curiosity of relationship? Even for just a moment. To dare to allow in
the possibility that there is purpose and meaning wired into this relationship
and into the somatic, psychic, and emotional material as it comes into
awareness to be met.
What if the most wise, loving, attuned response was to take
no action? For now. To not rush to mend your broken heart, transform the
sadness into happiness, or seek relief from your rage, hopelessness, or
confusion? To not give into the ancient demand that you fall into the extremes
of denial or seeking relief, abandoning the uninvited ones through the fueling
of a story about what has happened, who is to blame, why they are there, when
they will go away, and what their presence actually means about you as a
person? Or applying techniques to convert the experience into some other that
you have been told you should be experiencing instead?
These feelings and emotions are pure energy flow and
information. They are not enemies or obstacles on your path, but are the very
path itself. They have not come to harm you but only to be allowed back into
the majestic vastness that you are. To remind you of something you may have
forgotten and lost contact with along the tired journey of becoming.
This “doing nothing” is not a cold, passive resignation,
but is an alive, sacred activity, infused with presence and a wild sort of
compassion. It is an expression of embodied intimacy and care. This
open-hearted doing nothing is a radical act of kindness and love, and a holy
gift that you can offer yourself and others.