Friday, May 18, 2018

The companions of shame and unworthiness


To cleanse and dissolve the lenses of unworthiness, shame, narcissism, and self-absorption require the willingness to confront and integrate a certain sort of upheaval in our psychic reality (not to mention our intimate relationships) and we will be asked to reorient in ways that we cannot know beforehand.

For example, if we are no longer able to engage in relationship from the ground of our own unworthiness - or our work in the world from our own sense of poverty and fear - how will we engage? If those familiar reference points are no longer available in quite the same way, what will we organize around? Our unworthiness and fear have become such integrated fellow travelers that we cannot know ahead of time what it will be like to be in the world without their companionship.

Yes, there is a certain excitement and thrill in this, but it can generate quite a lot of anxiety, trepidation, and disorientation in lived experience. The invitation is to be kind to ourselves during these times of transition and contradiction, honoring the actualities of what it means to encode new circuitry, to choose something different, to re-imagine a new way.

We will never reorganize the patterns of a lifetime by means of self-aggression and self-abandonment, which will only reinforce the realities of early empathic failure and the shame which arose from the deep sense that there is something fundamentally wrong with us.

Yes, awareness, clarity, and insight are critical. They are necessary, but not sufficient. We all “know” what we need to do. At some point it becomes a practice of the heart, where love is revealed to be the ultimate medicine.



My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 


My next two events: 

The Path is Everywhere: A Weekend Intensive, June 15-18 in Loveland, Colorado

The Great Befriending: A Five-Day Journey of Self-Love, Deep Rest, and Coming Alive (with Jeff Foster), September 21-26 in Loveland, Colorado 

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Oneness and multiplicity


The goal is not to eliminate multiplicity and scramble to replace it with oneness, but something a bit messier, more creative, more fertile, more earthy. A bit more risky, not as clean, white, solar, or safe.

When we become too literalized in our fantasies of unity and oneness—and also in those of multiplicity and separation—we lose touch with the mystery that these concepts can only point to, but never embody.

We can play in the mountain peaks of unity and oneness, and also in the rich, lush generative meadows of separation and multiplicity, without taking sides. Willing to fully participate in each, as equal expressions of the beloved.





My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 


My next two events: 

The Path is Everywhere: A Weekend Intensive, June 15-18 in Loveland, Colorado

The Great Befriending: A Five-Day Journey of Self-Love, Deep Rest, and Coming Alive (with Jeff Foster), September 21-26 in Loveland, Colorado 

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

A creative dissolution


At some point, we will be asked to revision the ideas which have accompanied us to this moment in our lives. Even our most sacred beliefs can become encrusted over time, worn out symbols of a living reality that is no longer so alive. To bring the old ways into the vessel and heat them with the fire of our desire, vision, passion, and longing. One of the common ways alchemical work begins is through the operation of solutio, where the solid and fixed material of our lives dissolves and returns to its original state, becoming raw material for imagination.

While we might romanticize this washing away, it comes with a certain devastation. It is not oriented in improving our lives, positive thinking, or what we would ordinarily think of as self-development, but is a required “darkening” we must go through so that we can begin our work anew, with fresh vision. In contemplating the various solutio moments of my own life, they were not times of peace, joy, and contentment, but of revolution where I wasn’t quite sure if I would make it through to the other side. In many ways, I did not, at least the “me” who was there at the start of the process.

If we do not engage consciously in the process of dissolution, as many have discovered, life will bring dissolution to us, by way of transition, change, and psychic upheaval of all kinds: the ending of a relationship we thought would last forever, a shift in our health, the loss of a job, an unexpected depression, the inability to find meaning. In its wisdom and its creativity, psyche is bringing disruption as a harbinger of wholeness but by nature the whole will always include the dark, not only transcend it.

Without the healing waters of dissolution, we remain stuck in habitual consciousness, unaware of and run by the unconscious lenses through which we engage self, others, and world. It is through the illumination of these reality-tunnels that we can harness the creative, magical power of the imagination, dream a new dream, and weave a more majestic story. To discover new lenses by which to open our senses to the qualities of the sacred world.



My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 


My next two events: 

The Path is Everywhere: A Weekend Intensive, June 15-18 in Loveland, Colorado

The Great Befriending: A Five-Day Journey of Self-Love, Deep Rest, and Coming Alive (with Jeff Foster), September 21-26 in Loveland, Colorado