While there are many valid reasons for being in
relationship (romantic or otherwise), it is possible to make use of the alchemy
of intimacy as a profound vehicle of healing and metabolization. As we take the
risk to allow another to matter, we can be sure that the other will illuminate
the “inner other” that we have lost contact with along with way.
Perhaps this sort of confrontation is of interest to us.
And it’s okay if we want something else from our relationships. Or aren’t sure.
As Rumi reminds us, there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground. To
have contradictory feelings about this is an expression of intelligence.
But if we do choose the crucible of intimacy as one of the
greatest illuminators of our unlived lives, as a true modern-day temple of
revelation, we can count on our partners to continuously reveal that which is
longing for integration within us, inviting it out of the shadows and into the
warmth of conscious awareness. This reminder is often painful… but aches with
the holy.
From this perspective, the promise of intimacy is freedom
and wholeness, not a life where there is no negativity, conflict, or pain. No
fantasy of a life free of vulnerability, heartbreak, and fiery deflation in all
its forms. We don’t get to stand on the sidelines, safe and protected by our
amazing spiritual realizations and insights. For we come to discover that the
beloved isn’t all that interested.
Within the sacred field where one and two dance, there is
no promise of consistently flowing high vibrations, unending joy, continuous
connection, and feelings of safety and certainty. For this is a full-spectrum
crucible of wholeness, weaved of light and dark, where everything is allowed.
Even the most profound feelings of abandonment, engulfment, jealousy, fear and
rage – even the most primordial of all, the anxiety around death – it is all
welcome here, arising for holding and integration. For this is the gift of
intimacy, all of it.
As we remove the burden from the external other to take
care of that which we have disowned in ourselves, we plant the seeds of a new
heart. For to return this task to us is the wildest, most tender, most
devastating act of love that they could offer.
The Way of Rest summer retreat – registration open now
New book – The Path is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – to be released in April
