Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Hidden emissaries of the heart

It is important to realize that the path of opening the heart is not that of becoming a receptacle for the unloading of others’ unconscious, unresolved beliefs, unprocessed feelings, and unintegrated behaviors. It is to the degree that we are attuned to the alchemical “inner other” within us that we will be able to skillfully respond to the projections of the external other upon us.

As our perception is cleansed, we come to see that the “other” is not only those persons who appear in our lives, but the “inner other” that we have lost contact with along the way: the unmetabolized guests of the somatic landscape that we have turned from and sent into a dark, shadowy forest.

These ones will always and into eternity surge to be allowed back into the inner family, forever appearing as your intimate partners, children, and friends; as the colors, the moon, the sun, and the stars, taking infinite form to reach you. The sensual world is rich with hidden emissaries of wholeness and the heart. Slow way down, and see.

The only way to care for and integrate the “other” is by way of profound levels of self-compassion. For many, this holding does not come naturally as it was not encoded into the nervous system of a little one in an environment lacking in empathic attunement to the magic and brilliance of the unfolding emotional world. But despite the early relational trauma, the developmental wounding, and the disorganized narratives of attachment, you can learn and practice this now.

While appearing “compassionate” on the outside, being an emotional doormat involves the re-enacting of early, unconscious dynamics. We learned that devaluing ourselves, often in very subtle ways, was the best route to get our needs met, to fit in, to receive attention and affection, and to maintain a precarious tie to an unavailable attachment figure.

Because the pathways are luminous – neither solid nor fixed – they can be reorganized around empathy, kindness, and presence. But this possibility occurs only by way of self-compassion and the unconditional commitment to no longer abandon the inner other as it surges within you, in the form of feeling, sensation, and vulnerability of all kinds.

Look carefully and see the ways you habitually place others’ needs over your own… not out of true compassion for them, but as a re-enactment of an early environment of shame and unworthiness. With love, seed the surging somatic material with holding and attunement, receive the longing for update and integration, and step into the sacred world which is already here, wired into the stars and into the tender cells of your very own heart.

The Way of Rest summer retreat – registration open now 

New book – The Path is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – to be released in June