In a moment of activation, the emissaries arrive. When you
find yourself overwhelmed by repetitive, habitual, ruminative thinking; when
the thoughts are looping; when you are attacking yourself and falling down the
rabbit hole of self-aggression … just stop.
With the power and fierceness of the warrior’s sword of
compassion, cut the storyline. Slow way down and feel your feet on the ground.
Breathe deeply into your lower belly and activate your senses. See what is
around you with clear vision, enter into pure listening. Shift your sacred
life energy out of the spinning and into the aliveness of the body.
It is an act of kindness to not fuel the dysregulating
narrative, and takes practice, courage, curiosity, and imagination. Something
is erupting under the surface, longing to be met and integrated, but it is raw,
naked, and non-conceptual. Rather than turn into the center of the restless,
claustrophobic, and sticky somatic aliveness, we default back into conditioned
history—to the shame, the blame, the attack, and the aggression, anything to
keep us out of the fire and the tender surging tingling core of the
vulnerability at the center.
The invitation in these moments is into the shaky interior.
Use your breath as your guide into the inner landscape. You are being asked to
care for yourself in a new way. See what feeling state the very vivid and
colorful storyline is attempting to take you out of, and slowly, with kindness
drop underneath the conditioned history and into the hot, seething, pregnant
life that is surging to be held.
In order to make this journey, that of the sacred return,
we must set aside our agenda to understand, to change, to transform, even to
heal … for a moment. We can return to transformation at a later time. For now,
replace it with a fiery curiosity. To become more interested in our original
primal experience than in our interpretations of it, turning our bodies into a
crucible of open awareness, filled with the qualities of warmth, attunement,
and revolutionary kindness.
And in doing this we call off the war. We dare to practice
peace. To step off the battlefield and into the unknown mystery of the body,
and the wisdom-field of the always blooming, awakened heart.
