While it is valid to speak about our oneness with all of life, we are also separate, each with our own sensitivities, vulnerabilities, and ways of approaching the mystery. True connectedness is not synonymous with fusion and unity is not more sacred than multiplicity; each are equal manifestations of love as it emerges here. To dissolve the differences into some homogenized spiritual middle does not honor the sacredness of form or the wildness of an individuated human heart.
While those of us drawn to the spiritual may naturally have a bias for union over separation, the beloved does not seem to share this preference and is ready at all times to arrange either archetypal emanation in our lives in order to reveal her (his) nature within the world of time and space and to reveal the next invitation.
If we do not consciously attend to the reality of our separateness, it will inevitably express itself in less than conscious ways as we unleash unmetabolized shadow into the relational field. If we lose contact with this in relationship with our friends and lovers, we will locate this loss and its attendant longing and dissociated feeling outside us, placing a heavy burden on our dear fellow travelers which they are unable to carry for us.
May we be kind to our partners and friends as we navigate this territory together, honoring the vehicle of relationship as one of the most transformative, sacred, and challenging that we have in our modern world. To play, dream, grieve, and explore together in that unfused middle, where we are utterly connected and simultaneously separate, where we can dance alone and together in the unfolding unknown with curiosity, compassion, and grace.
Photo by Peggy Choucair
My most recent book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available
The next book, A Healing Space: Befriending Yourself in Difficult Times, will be published by Sounds True in early 2020, details to come
The next event is The Healing Shame Retreat: Spiritual Awakening and Transforming the Core Wound of Unworthiness, April 24-29, 2019 at Sunrise Ranch in Loveland, Colorado, with co-facilitator Jeff Foster
