Friday, May 12, 2017

In the middle is the secret place

Falling apart, holding it all together. Then falling apart, then coming back together again. Cycles of clarity and confusion. Hopelessness and hope. Heartbreak and bliss. As the seasons of the natural world unfold, so do the creative and destructive aspects of love as it makes its way into matter.

Inside the opposites it is relentlessly creative, but there is no solid ground from which to orient. Some sort of death has occurred, and we know that things cannot stay the same. Something is calling, reaching back into the present from a future that is marinating in the womb of Now. But what will be reborn from the ashes is not yet known.

Rather than scramble out of death and into rebirth prematurely, stay in the fire. It is unknown here, naked and fresh, and pregnant with essence. See that death does not need to be “healed” or “transformed,” for it is outrageous, wild, and utterly pure on its own. Enter inside the broken and discover the raw life that is found only here.

If you remain too identified with “falling apart,” you lose contact with innate radiance, and become misattuned to the flow of embodied experience as it is. You disconnect with the magic of presence, with the wisdom of the earth, and the realization that nothing is wrong with you. You forget that the darkness, when provided sanctuary, is brighter than a thousand suns.

But if you remain too identified with “holding it all together,” you disconnect from natural vulnerability and the spontaneous mystery as it appears, turning from the surging reality that things could fall apart and reorganize at any moment. It is true that raw, tender heartbreak could approach at any time, requesting safe passage inside you. But it is through this broken aliveness that the poetry of your life will flow.

Right in the middle of “falling apart” and “holding it together” is the secret place. Stay there. It is here where you will find the rest you are longing for, the remedy to the exhaustion of becoming. It is here where the light and the dark are in union, where integration and disintegration emerge as one in love, and where lunar and solar weave together particles of the sacred world.

Photo by Donnchadh Murphy

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