May we hold all Fathers in our hearts today, in recognition
of the gift of life they have given. Some of us are close with Dad, some are
not. Some have very fond memories of him and some do not. Some of us never
really got to know that person we call(ed) “Dad,” what moved and inspired him,
what triggered fear in him or what brought him joy, what was really going on in
his heart, or what he truly wanted from this life.
But the one thing we do know is that, just like us, Dad
only ever wanted to be happy, to be free from suffering, and in his own way
longed to enter into the mystery, to live a meaningful life, to respond
skillfully to suffering and heartbreak, to know for even a moment the truth
that love is alive here.
Also, just like us, Dad is/ was only able to use the tools
he had been given to take the journey that was his. It is not likely Dad was
raised by enlightened parents, learned about mindfulness, empathic attunement,
or practiced yoga. Or grew up in an environment which fully held and mirrored
the unfolding majesty that he was at the deepest levels. Just like us, Dad has
acted out of his own pain, in ways that have caused suffering for him, for us,
and for those around us. Just like we have.
We may never understand the nature of Dad’s journey, why he
acts as he does, what scares him, touches his heart, or how he is making
meaning of a crazy world; what his deepest fears and longings are (or were),
what keeps him up at night, or what causes him to fall to the ground in awe. We
may never be able to make sense of it. But perhaps today is not a day of
answers or understanding, or even of healing, forgiving, or accepting. Perhaps
today is a day of just one moment of sacred pause, heart-connection, shared
presence, and remembrance. And meeting Dad in the core of the mystery.
Whether Dad is still on this earth or love has sent him
elsewhere, it is possible to connect with him right here and right now, for he
is alive inside every cell. For some unknown reason, love has placed him into
the strands of your DNA, and in many (but not all) cases he has done his best
to love you, given his own limited abilities and influences, developmental and
karmic. Perhaps he has succeeded, perhaps he has failed. Or perhaps it has been
mixed, as our love has been for him.
No matter what has happened in the past, or the nature of
your relationship with this one we call “Dad,” he has provided the gift of
life, a precious human body, and the opportunity to take this rare human
journey, to explore the mysteries of love in form. While some of us may not be
able to meet and connect with Dad in this way, if our time with him was just
too painful or too destructive (we can honor this truth and need not shame or
attack ourselves for it), we can hold this aspiration in our hearts, if (and only
if) we are so called, and allow the seeds of love and healing to flower in
their own way, in their own time.
May we honor Father on this day in all of his emanations
and in all of his forms – personal, collective, transpersonal, and beyond – and
may we be guided by the wisdom qualities that have come down through Father
everywhere, since beginningless time.
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