There are times when we lose contact with pure vision, with the imaginary landscape, and with the darkened wisdom of the night sea journey. Before we know it, we’ve fallen into trance and forgotten the majesty and splendor of just one human heart.
We wonder where god is, or more lovers, more healing, more awakening, more experiences. We forget that the journey is not only from “here to there” but how “there” emerges from the stars and infuses this world of time and space with the substance of love.
We wonder why there is no response to our deepest prayers. But that burning, that longing, that still small voice… while the mind may spin for further indications, our prayer has been answered. We have not been forsaken.
The invitation is to travel into the mess with eyes wide open. To fall apart, be put back together, to fail well, to forget and remember, dissolve and come back together. And take the risk to reimagine.
To set aside the fantasy that one day, when we do it right, we’ll come to some consistently safe, secure, and certain resolution to the wildness of love and its contradictions. That one day we’ll become a “master” at life, wiggle into some untouchable state, tucked away and protected from the reality that the rug can and will be pulled out from underneath us when we least expect it.
To stand in awe at how the beloved will appear, over and over and over again, as this pulling, as an act of mercy and is only her pulling you home.
To allow another to truly matter, to allow our hearts to break (and maybe even not be mended), to practice intimacy without becoming fused, to fully participate in the dream without falling into trance. And even if we fall into trance, to dare to see it, too, as none other than the beloved in disguise. And how majestic all of it is, being lost as well as being found.
The next event is The Healing Shame Retreat: Spiritual Awakening and Transforming the Core Wound of Unworthiness, April 24-29, 2019 at Sunrise Ranch in Loveland, Colorado, with co-facilitator Jeff Foster