Friday, August 31, 2012

A lovely view of heaven, but I'd rather be with you...

Blue moon rising over the Atlantic, pouring her grace through this most blessed planet. Could there ever be anything as magnificent? Is it even possible to imagine wanting anything more than this? What if I was offered the choice to be with you, oh dear moon, in heaven forever, filled with the divine presence and its endless beauty… or just one instant with the Beloved one? What would I do? The only possible choice – to trade everything… all known and unknown heavens, all known and unknown universes, all known and unknown gods and goddesses, every blue moon from now until eternity, for just one moment looking at you, gazing into your eyes, holding and touching you. The most graceful blue moon that has ever been – beyond words, beyond time, beyond space, the purest of all divine revelation… The most lovely view of heaven, but I’d rather be with you.

The unknown ways that love must express itself through each of us...

Enter here and lose everything. What sort of invitation is this? Who would be foolish enough to consciously choose this? The loss of my ideas; my concepts; my spiritual superstitions; my accomplishments; all strategies that allow me to stay separate and guarded; the ability to defend myself and construct a cocoon around my heart; fantasies about what will complete me; conditioned spiritual stories about awakening and enlightenment; my habitual quest for new and fabulous “high” states of consciousness; endless activities to exit embodied immediate experience to go to a more and better place; eternal confusion around closing to the crushing immediacy of intimacy; my absolute conviction that I exist continuously through time-- permanent, solid, findable; my unwavering conviction that the project of “me” is something other than the play of maya.

Only a very foolish lover would entertain such groundless uncertainty, to fall heart-first into the excruciating unknown deep dark waters of the beloved’s womb. In this confusing bewildering whirlpool of grace, everything that arises is self-liberated into the purifying fires of the movement of love. Endless invitations are offered in a timeless luminous space for the lover to die and be re-born, to allow the architect of love to re-engineer each and every cell, each and every strand of DNA, each and every synapse in the brain, to be wired for what is next, to somehow prepare for the forever unknown ways that love must express itself through each of us.

As these infinite cycles of death and rebirth play out, as love forever and into eternity takes shape as this human body… a call from beyond makes its away over the thundering silence… the tea pot is boiling… the matcha is ready. Behold this cup of tea, the birds singing, the summer wildflowers, the blooming rose bush, the strange smells coming from the neighbors house, the sometimes annoying clanging of the wind chimes, the baby across the street who is screaming to be held, the tingling in the fingers from a life of so much typing, the remembrance of the day’s to-do list, the reminder of all of the responsibilities of this life. All of these appearances, like echoes, like mirages, like rainbows… translucent, luminous, real reminders of the only response to this life which makes any sense: that of deep gratitude.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

I could die now...

I’m not sure how I could be any luckier… mother Ocean all around me, holding me, containing and metabolizing all of this energy that is moving through this fragile, raw, broken-open heart. And how lucky I am to have so many sweet friends in my life, that by some unknown grace have decided to share with me the deepest and darkest and scariest and most luminous regions of their hearts, minds, and bodies. I know I speak with most of you during difficult and challenging times – when the darkness is great – and for this I am honored. Looking out over the sea today, as the sun drops over the horizon, it feels as if I could actually die now. This life has been so complete, so overflowing with love – if I am graced with another day tomorrow, I will fall down on the ground with gratitude. If today turns out to be my last then I will fall into eternity with the same gratitude. 

From early evening, New Smyrna Beach, FL

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Fragments of love and the dripping stardust of grace as it pours throughout the evening sky…

Many of you have shared lately about the difficulties you’ve been having on the journey, of the profound challenges you’re facing in your intimate relationships, in your work, in your health, and in your desire to find genuine meaning and authenticity in your lives. We often forget that the process of awakening is counter-instinctual and may never actually feel good. We forget that our repressive capacities were put in place to protect us from overwhelm, from the unbearable realities of not being unconditionally loved, and from not feeling safe and held as we so sweetly needed, as our little brains and nervous systems were developing. In this way, what we see as our neurosis – as those less-than-whole aspects of ourselves – is a special type of intelligence and creativity, given as an actual form of grace to help us to survive – psychologically, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. 

These innovative strategies were sent from the beyond into our lives as gifts, each as healing guides to bless us and show us the way home. We have come to see that even though at one time these strategies were quite necessary, that now they are a bit out of date. But rather than raging war on them – with all of our spiritual tools and super egoic judgments – let us somehow find a way to be tremendously kind and compassionate to ourselves as we embark upon the path, appreciating the grace as it unfolds for us according to the uniqueness that is each human heart. When we set aside our defensive organization and embark upon the path of love, we intuitively know that we will have to feel each and every feeling that we have been avoiding. We know that we will no longer be able to hide. We know that even our spiritualities will not protect us from a direct encounter with the unbearable fires of love. We know we will need extra grace. We fall to our knees, touch this precious earth, and call for help, each in our own unique ways. 

This heart, these eyes, these hands, this entire somatic reality – these are true miracles. They have been assembled cell by cell by the same master architect who created the planets, the galaxies, the oceans, and the sweet moon above. This entire human experience was created out of fragments of love, and out of the dripping stardust of grace as it pours throughout the evening sky, showering this sweetest of ever planets with utter unbearable sacredness.