Trust in the fires of disintegration

At times, our reference points will be taken away, revealing a shimmering, pregnant, endarkened void. What we were so clear about just a few days ago is nowhere to be found. The relationship we thought would be there forever, the creativity in our work, inspiration in our spiritual lives, our deepest insights and realizations – recycled in the activity of the vast, somehow no longer reachable.

The solid ground we once took refuge in has disintegrated underneath us, sending us into unknown territory. We were so sure we were beyond breaking yet again, that we had finished with all that, but the beloved is not interested in maintaining the status quo. It is the nature of all form to disintegrate, so that new forms may emerge.

Between the worlds, burning up, longing for an end to the contradictions. We have found ourselves in the liminal, but how do we rest there? Where is the healing, the transcendence, the resolution? How could we be asked to surrender more?

It can seem that we are falling apart, but were we ever together to begin with? Is that even the right lens from which to attempt navigation? Or were we always something more whole, more majestic than all that?

Slow way down. Breathe deeply from the lower belly. Feel your feet in the mud of the earth. Sink into the womb of now. For just this moment, set aside the need to understand, to figure it all out, or to replace this moment with another. Today may not be the day for answers, but to let your heart break open to the vastness of the question.

Look up into the new autumn sky. Something is longing to be born, in you, as you, as the poetry of your life and as the gifts you will share with others. Lay your hands on your heart. Listen. Receive. There are blues coming into existence that have never made their way into this dimension. Oranges, reds, yellows, and purples that have been sent to remind you of the rarity and outrageousness of one human heart.

Stay right here. Don’t move from this moment. Open your senses. Step into the mystery. See through the veil. Everything that has ever happened and everyone you have ever met, has led up to right here and right now. Trust in the fires of disintegration and renewal, and in the timeline that is written within the cells of your heart.

My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 

The next book, The Unfolding Heart, will be published by Sounds True in early 2020, details to come

The next event is The Healing Shame Retreat: Spiritual Awakening and Transforming the Core Wound of Unworthiness, April 24-29, 2019 at Sunrise Ranch in Loveland, Colorado, with co-facilitator Jeff Foster 

The unwanted lover within

It is so natural to long for deep relationship with another, a fellow traveler to explore the great secrets of union. Someone to accompany us as we enter the mystery, explore the uncharted lands of the heart and wild terrain of the body, unsure where the journey will lead but pulled by the aliveness of intimacy and its fruits.

“I want to share the burning,” we cry out! The tenderness, the joy, and the aliveness of what it means to enter into partnership with the holy other. To no longer hold back, to give everything to remove the remaining shreds of separation, to lead with vulnerability and courage, to give and to receive fully and no longer postpone entry into the temple of the beloved. This yearning is pure, valid, and can be honored for its authenticity and power.

Alas, the prayer is heard. In response to this primordial call, the “other” appears. Sadness rushes onto the scene: “But when will you practice intimacy with me?” Loneliness is next, pleading for a moment of our undistracted attention. Anger, despair, grief, self-loathing, jealousy, fear, and shame: “Us too! Please do not abandon us and turn away for some other lover! We are here and long to share our essence. Your yearning for true intimacy has been answered! We have come.”

Out of the earth, the mud, and the stars, the ancient companions will always respond to this longing, spinning and shifting the forms of the phenomenal world, arranging meetings and encounters with the other in all of his or her glory.

As the lost soul pieces and displaced aspects of psyche, the beloved appears not as an enemy to disrupt, but as the most true, faithful lover, never willing to truly abandon you. Come not to harm, but for just one moment of your attention and the light of your holding. While there may be a memory of being rejected in the past, they come nonetheless, never losing hope in connection.

In that encounter, we are reminded that we will never be able to be more intimate with another than we are with the unwanted lovers within. If we do not provide shelter for the unmet within us, how will we ever truly live, dance, and play with the beloved?

My latest book – The Path Is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – is now available 

The next book, The Unfolding Heart, will be published by Sounds True in early 2020, details to come

The next event is The Healing Shame Retreat: Spiritual Awakening and Transforming the Core Wound of Unworthiness, April 24-29, 2019 at Sunrise Ranch in Loveland, Colorado, with co-facilitator Jeff Foster 

The Healing Shame retreat with Matt Licata and Jeff Foster

Tickets now on sale for The Healing Shame Retreat: Spiritual Awakening and Transforming the Core Wound of Unworthiness with Matt Licata and Jeff Foster, April 24-29 at Sunrise Ranch in Loveland, Colorado.

Come join Matt - a psychotherapist who has spent nearly 25 years on the cutting-edge of meditation, emotional integration, and trauma healing - and Jeff Foster, a non-dual spiritual teacher who is also a survivor of suicidal depression and chronic self-loathing - in the beautiful Rocky Mountains for an immersive five-day dive into the depths of self-love and radical self-acceptance.

After many years of speaking with thousands of people all over the world, Matt and Jeff have discovered that underneath much of our suffering and psychological struggle is a primordial sense that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, that we’re not okay, that something is missing, and that we are somehow not enough.

During this five-day immersive experience, together we will unwind and untangle this core wound revealing a freedom, creativity, intimacy, and aliveness that is always, already present.

Your life is more than one continuous self-improvement project or quest for an awakening in the future. Life is here now and longing for your embodied, heartful participation. It is not waiting for you to first heal all your wounds or complete some mythical journey of enlightenment. Something miraculous is much closer than all that.