Monday, January 16, 2017

Falling apart, coming back together

Falling apart, holding it all together. Then falling apart, then holding it all together again. Cycles of integration and disintegration. Chaos and ground. Stillness and activity. Sanity and confusion. Hopelessness and hope. As flows the natural world, the unfolding of the heart is alive and of the unknown.

In ways the mind may never resolve, guidance is pouring through you, washing away that which is less than whole, preparing you for what is next. But what is next is always of the nameless and will never be approached ahead of time by means of the conceptual. Stay close in the liminal, and attune to the creativity as it emerges out of the here and now.

While the narrative that you are “falling apart” is rich and multi-layered, look carefully and see if you were ever “together” to begin with. You are the vast space in which “together” and “apart” dance in union, and you will never be limited to either of these narratives. Rest for a moment and honor the unprecedented nature of what is moving within you.

If you remain too identified with “falling apart,” you cut into the natural aliveness that is the essence of pure, immediate experience. You lose contact with the luminous within, and become misattuned to the wisdom of your unfolding experience, exactly as it is. You disconnect with the radiance of embodied presence, with the intelligence of the earth, and with the high-voltage realization that nothing has ever been wrong with you. You forget that the darkness, when provided sanctuary, is brighter than a thousand suns.

But if you remain too identified with “holding it all together,” you disconnect from your natural vulnerability and the spontaneous mystery as it appears, turning from the surging reality that your heart could break at any moment. It is true that raw, tender sadness or deflation could approach at any time, requesting safe passage inside you. But it is through this broken aliveness that the poetry of your life will flow.

Right in the middle of “falling apart” and “holding it together” is the secret essence. Stay there. It is here where the light and the dark are in union, where integration and disintegration emerge as one in love, and where lunar and solar are weaving the substance of the sacred world.

Artist unknown

The Way of Rest summer retreat – registration open now 

New book – The Path is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – to be released in April

Saturday, January 14, 2017

A new way of self-care

The next time you find yourself activated and hooked – shaming, spinning, and blaming another for an eruption within – slow down, and give yourself the gift of pause. Take one moment and descend with the breath underneath the compelling storyline, and into the center of the fire. Stay close. For you need yourself now more than ever.

It is an outrageous act to drop into the core of your body, out of the spinning narrative, and into the somatic guidance that is coursing within you. It is fresh, alive, and unprecedented there, with your torso aglow with sacred data.

Once you have provided a home for the aliveness to illuminate, you can then return to what happened, and engage it from a more grounded place in the slowness of the here and now. Until the feelings are held and integrated, however, you will be caught in the complexes and the unconscious lenses through which you have come to organize your experience, and will inevitably re-enact an early environment of misattunement and empathic failure.

It was intelligent and made sense to dissociate at an earlier time, but you are being called to something new: to make new meaning, to work through the old circuity, and to update it with revelation. To seed the pathways with empathy, with holding, and with all the wisdom you have gathered until now.

As you slow down and re-orient, you can then ask what it is that you truly need right now. What are you being asked to provide for yourself? What have you abandoned or lost touch with that is now surging to be held and re-integrated? The invitation is to care for yourself in a new way, to encode new circuitry and to rewire old pathways, planting new seeds which will bear the fruit of embodiment, and will reveal an inner power.

With your heart open, make requests of your lovers, your family, and your fellow journeyers, knowing that they will sometimes be able to meet you, to see you as you are, and provide what you are asking for. When they do, you can rejoice in this, and give thanks. And when they do not, you can rejoice in that and give thanks as well, for the clear reflection of the mystery of the relational field, and for the opportunity to take care of yourself in a new way. For this is a profound gift that they have to offer, though it is one that is non-conventional in nature.

Through this holy aspiration of self-care, you come back into your vulnerability – into the tender and into the raw, for there is tremendous energy, power, and creativity there. You are then able to step fully into the reality of a warrior of love, come here not only to heal yourself but to be a vessel of presence and transmutation for all beings.

Art by Eli Vokounova

The Way of Rest summer retreat – registration open now 

New book – The Path is Everywhere: Uncovering the Jewels Hidden Within You – to be released in April