Thursday, November 26, 2015

An unprecedented portal of wholeness

At times, you may be asked to travel into the very groundless and contradictory landscape of the emotional world, without any understanding of what is being asked of you. It is so open here, but simultaneously disorienting to the mind that is longing for answers. It is as if everything you were so sure about only days before has fallen away into the vastness.

Unmetabolized feelings, orphaned sensations, and vivid images are surging in the somatic field, seeming disconnected and expressions of utter chaos. But things are not always as they seem as you approach the threshold of wholeness. The invitation has been made: trust in the process of disintegration and the intelligence of immediate experience.

Yes, it may always be disturbing to stay embodied to the burning feelings and sensations that appear alongside the dissolution of old dreams and the way you thought it was all going to turn out. But in the commitment to meet what is appearing with presence and with holding, you may discover that this destruction is sacred, unbearably creative, and soaked with reorganizing wisdom.

Before you turn from the confusion and scramble to transform or heal it with learned process, open into the uncertainty, the hopelessness, and the breaking of your heart. It is there will you will find life, longing to erupt and shatter the dream of partiality. For each visitor of the inner and outer worlds is unfolding in the radiant here and now as an unprecedented portal of wholeness.

Photo by Erez Marom

1 comment:

  1. I'm finding in my own journey back from a dissociated spirituality toward a more inclusive relationship with myself, my history, my shadow, that few therapists and healers have the capacity to really stay and not be turned off by the invitation to disintegration that is sitting in the room.
    As much as I feel such a passionate uprising of rebellion against the ego shaming teachings I subjugated myself to for so long, I do understand why many deeply injured souls feel this to be their only avenue of hope. We so long to be held by another, and it seems that there are few therapists and healers in the West who have really allowed themselves to be broken open to such an extent that they can hold and withstand the depth of disintegration that is asking to be allowed in those of us who experienced so much rupture in our early lives. An 'enlightened' being holds this promise.
    Cracked open by abuse, neglect, or misattunement, to the nothingness beyond our familiar holding environment, we sense the vast spaciousness that awaits - and yet how terrifying for those disowned parts of ourselves that just long to be seen, held, and allowed.
    In this way, running off to a so called 'enlightened' being in order to 'transcend' the ego seems just as violent an act as continuing to compartmentalise ourselves in order to fit into someone else's too small a container of 'healing'. I don't think this has to be an either-or journey - and what a revelation to discover so - but it does make it an incredibly lonely one sometimes.