Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Do not move from this moment
When will the groundlessness end? When will the uncertainty yield to clarity, the confusion to knowing, the questions to answers?
You have gone through so much. So many dreams have fallen away, so much of what you thought you knew and needed has dissolved in front of you. You've surrendered, let go, accepted, witnessed, meditated, inquired, forgiven, and let it all go. You’ve committed to the path and then blown in all up, only to recommit and destroy it again. You've tried everything. You're tired. Cosmically exhausted. None of the worn-out concepts have any meaning any longer.
But somehow you are still being asked ... to ... burn ... more. To stay close. To bow down to the altar of direct revelation.
All that appears to be left is a raging, unrequited longing, a surging achiness in your body, and an unbearable rawness in your heart. You are suspended between one world and another, no longer able to access any sort of reference point from which to orient and move forward. If you try to 'escape,' it hurts even more; but you don't even know what the alternative is.
And then in the next moment, when all hope has vanished into a vast field of hopelessness, the creative and destructive activity of love arrives in ways and forms that you would never have imagined. While in ways the mind may never understand, love takes shape as the longing, the burning, and as the tenderness itself. Love has not abandoned you, but has entered you from the inside, dissolving the old so that which is whole may emerge.
Stay still. Do not move from this moment. Everything has led up to here… and now. Every emotion, every feeling, every longing, every conversation, every heartbreak, every disappointment, every deflation, and everyone you have ever met. Perfectly valid, wild and intelligent, and none other than a lucid manifestation of the path itself.
Take the risk and see that no mistake has been made and that grace could never leave you, even for an instant. For grace is not a destination that you will arrive at one day, but is a lover, opening to mingle with you, and to seed revelation inside you.
But this revelation is of the new and of the substance of pure creativity. And as such will never correspond to the way you thought it would be. It is not a continuation of the past but is weaved of the sacred material of Now. Stay close. Allow the trance that something is ‘missing’ to disintegrate into the ripe womb of loving presence. You are right on track.