Tuesday, February 3, 2015
The always, already holy ground on which you stand
At times, it may feel that you have 'been sad' for months, angry for 'years,' or anxious for 'weeks.' But if you look carefully you may see that what we call sadness, rage, or anxiety is coagulated energy which comes & goes in a wavelike manner. They are temporary movements of thought, emotion & sensation which we have pinned down in the attempt to understand & control what is surging in the wide open, groundless, ever-freshly emerging here and now.
In this sense you have never 'been sad' before, until now – or angry or scared or lonely or hopeless – for what is appearing now is utterly unprecedented. If you look carefully you may see that every moment is complete & discontinuous; while it may appear to be the case, there is no such thing as 'past experience.' Though it may seem a bit paradoxical, you can come to rest in the very center of your sadness, your rage, your fear & your anxiety. You can send breath, awareness, holding, and kindness into the core of these and all feelings, and oxygenate them with your presence.
Over time - in a way that is slow, kind, non-aggressive, and attuned to your actual capacities (though in a way that is always a bit provocative and challenging) - you can train yourself (as a practice and intention, not a 'goal' to shame yourself around) to stay with rather than abandon the burning within. As you do this, you create a new set point in your being, and lay down new neural grooves in your brain and nervous system.
As you discover that you can hold, contain, and learn to tolerate these waves of energy which have come to be associated with survival-level panic, you can come to see that there is no suffering inherent in the mere arising of feeling, emotion, and sensation. This is the dawn of a wild freedom. For it is only in the chronic abandonment & rejection of our tender vulnerabilities that we suffer and struggle.
Infuse your body, your brain, and the cells of your heart with pathways of love – and step inside the sacred world - which is always, already the holy ground on which you stand. The beloved is always near. And she is presenting the path to you at all times.