Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Honoring and releasing the dream figures from your life

"I am not okay. I am not enough. I have failed. Something is wrong with me. I am unworthy of love."

These identities served an important adaptive function when you were a little one in your family of origin. They helped you to make sense of how it could possibly be that you did not receive good contact, attunement, and mirroring from your caregivers. Because it was just too unsafe for you to see that such empathic failure was the result of their own limitations, you internalized it and blamed yourself. "Oh, I am not receiving love because I am not lovable as I am, because I am flawed, because something is inherently wrong with me."

But here you are, several decades later, and you are awake and alive. You want to touch the mysteries of giving and receiving love, and are now ready to know what is true more than you want to feel safe, to be 'right,' and to maintain any fixed identity about yourself. Slowly, but courageously – and with the tools of wild, embodied kindness and self-care – you can meet, honor, and then release these dream figures from your life, from your nervous system, and from the very cells of your sacred heart.

With the medicine of pure kindness, allow the unworthy one, the one who is not enough, the unlovable one, and the defective one to go on their way, to be recycled into the muddy gooey earth, where they will be transmuted into particles of blazing compassion, raining down on all beings in all worlds.


  1. I love and appreciate your words so much Matt and found myself writing something of my own tonight that tells of how this amazing process feels for me......

    Dearest ugliness masquerading as love,
    How clumsily, brutally and grace fully
    you cracked me open.
    A filthy, long broken mirror
    Smeared with blood,shit and tears.
    I have been staring through this mirror forever,
    Banging my head against it forever,
    And longing for it to be different, forever.
    In its broken spaces something wild is showing itself…….
    Shit is smeared with possibilities,
    Blood, stained with maybes.
    I take these rotten shards and ever so carefully
    Begin to wipe away the pain of lifetimes.
    Gently, gently cleanse.
    Wipe, turn over, wipe again.
    Hold up to the light.
    Soft cloths, cut fingers and glimpses of something new.
    Smeared with hesitation, hope and holiness.
    Love is actually starting to shine from between the dark cracks.
    It shows up in yellows and pinks
    And comes from everywhere.

    1. This is really beautiful, Rachel - thank you for sharing here, my friend. Lots of love...

    2. Matt, thank you, Rachel your words speak to me. Would you be willing for me to share them on my web site?

  2. Thank you savannah......yes please do share on your beautiful site. I find the more we share about this difficult and beautiful journey home the easier and fuller it becomes.With love, Rachel