Monday, September 30, 2013

You must have confused me for someone else, love says

I am ready, you say, to open all the way now;
to give everything, to take the risk that love requires.
The sadness has subsided, the vulnerability has lessened,
the groundlessness is no more.

Finally, I feel safe enough to expose my heart,
to be naked with another,
and to give all of me to this world.
I feel good, things are clear, there is some peace;
I know what it is that I want. I am guided by the light.

You must have confused me for someone else, love says.
You cannot bring your feelings of safety inside here.
I offer no ground, only a raging alive empty grace-space.
And what would I ever do with your contentment and clarity?
It is only through your vulnerability that we can dance together.  

If the light guiding you is not illuminated by your darkness,
it will burn out and your path will dry up.

Ah, you know what you want?
If so, we will never enter into union;
for the more you think you know, the further you are from me.
Oh, friend, if you knew what I really had on offer,
you would fall to the ground in astonishment. 

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Raging alive in your wild vulnerability

Let me enter all the way inside you,
sadness pleads.
I want to show you something important,
loneliness explains.
Walk with me into the sunset,
vulnerability cries out.

You want to find an end to your longing,
respite from your burning,
and protection from the surging reality
that you are at risk of breaking open
in each and every moment.

But I cannot make any such agreement,
the beloved says;
for I love you too much.
If I do not enter through your burning,
how will I ever show you how whole
you really are?

Love will do anything to reach you,
and will continue to send its emissaries
to open a secret place within you.

There are no mistakes here, friend;
love will always find you.
It is hidden inside your scary places,
raging alive within your wild vulnerability,
and pouring out of your nakedness.
It has come from the unknown,
to take you Home.

You see so clearly:
Ah, the more I burn, the more translucent I become,
the more transparent I am for you to move though me,
and light up the world.  
Yes, says, love, this is it. 

Saturday, September 28, 2013

For they, too, have come to awaken love within you

There is a longing within you
for deep intimacy with another.
Let me share my burning!, you call out;
I am ready to reveal the secrets inside my heart. 

In response to this longing, sadness arrives:
but when will you become intimate with me?
Loneliness is next; yes, me, too!
Anger, despair, grief, and confusion,
all line up for just one moment of your presence.

To the degree you are intimate
with the unwanted within,
it is to this degree that you can be intimate with another.
If you do not love yourself,
how can you ever expect love
to move through you into this world.

These energies, feelings, and emotions 
that are surging within you;
will you take these as your lovers?
Will you undress and be naked with them?
Will you offer your care and be a kind listener?

Will you stay close and not turn away,
even during the difficult times?
Will you keep your heart and your body open
even when you are scared?
Will you attune to these ones like a mother
providing a loving holding environment
for her sweet little baby.

Oh, friend, will you allow even your sadness, your confusion,
and your anxiety to unfold and illuminate your path?
For they, too, have come to awaken love within you. 

Friday, September 27, 2013

Even the color blue is enough to take you to the ground

Sometimes you pretend there really is something more than love that matters… you look up into the morning sky and are just not sure… you know that somehow it must be possible for this life to give you more sweetness, more connection, more grace, more awakening, more intimacy, more joy, more lovers. You wonder if you’ve done something wrong: perhaps you’ve not prayed hard enough, or in the right way; meditated enough; served enough; been broken open enough; hurt enough; opened enough; forgiven enough; let go enough, accepted enough.

And then in just one moment, out of time, looking up into that same morning sky, somehow it is revealed that this body, this heart, this sensual reality, this opportunity, may not be what you think. As you peer behind the veil just a bit, you behold the creative display of love. For just one moment, the awesomeness of the whole thing pours through every cell of this body, taking your breath and melting your heart.  

For just a split second, you see into the whole display; a revelation is given of the always, already raging perfection of this most sacred and very rare human experience. Everyone you meet, every kind word that you speak, each time you touch another with your hands and your heart, each time you are called to be the holding space for another who has been consumed by sadness, grief, and darkness – this has all been set up and orchestrated by love itself. You are overwhelmed by such intelligence, by this sort of cosmic creativity. And you know that in any moment that could ever be – whether joyful or sad or content or blissful or vulnerable or scared or confused or anxious or depressed or lit up from within with gratitude – you could never find any separation between yourself and love, between yourself and life.

And then you look back up into the same morning sky… though something seems a little different. It’s more vivid, more alive; the display is more magical. Even the color blue is enough to take you to the ground, if it is allowed all the way in. The birdsong has come from another dimension. The smell of the blooming wildflower takes you apart, exposing how little you really know and how naked your heart really is. You see so clearly that everything here is on your side, it is always working for you, though in ways you may never understand. 

Sunrise over Bear Lake in our most precious Rocky Mountain National Park. Photo credit