Sunday, August 25, 2013

Stay with your rawness

When you feel disoriented, sad, lonely, or in despair, know that the beloved is at work. See that your confusion is sacred as it is a reflection of the nature of love itself: radically uncertain, utterly transformative, and filled with the unknown. Love is crying out: turn toward me! Remove your clothing. Come closer. Let me touch you. Let us finally enter into union. The movement of the beloved in your life might never feel good; and it will never correspond to your hopes and dreams or to the way you thought it would be. It cannot do this for it has come to dismantle egoic process. It has come to undress you. 

But I’m falling apart, you say. I can’t hold it together any longer. Stop the burning! I know now what is required! How can you possibly ask me to break open even more? But this burning, this brokenness, and this falling apart are love’s ways of reaching you. Do not close them off! Love has come in drag to initiate a revolution of death and rebirth within you. 

You want a road map, but the beloved will never provide you with one, for she loves you too much. She will only continue to invite you into her world, which is wild, alive, and pregnant with creation; it is here where miracles arise and fall in each moment as your entire sensory world. To see a tree, to listen to the birds, to attune to the beating heart of another, to smell the lilac bush: one miracle after the next. 

Your life is not a project to be solved. Your feelings and your emotions are not energies which need to be healed, transcended, or subjected to your spiritual processes. And your rawness and sensitivity is not something to be sent away. It is all much too precious for that.