Sunday, July 14, 2013

Inside a mandala of love

We want love to feel good, to be safe, to provide a final resting place for our weary hearts and minds. Let me be healed, we say – transformed, enlightened, awakened; let me rest. But love is not able to offer these for it can only give you everything. Our spiritualities tell us that when we are awakened fear will not be there, conflict will never arise, anxiety will never touch us; we will never ever have a problem again. But these are spiritualities of fear, not love. Love is not partial, but is a messenger of wholeness. With no bias for human or divine, wisdom or neurosis, light or dark, mind or heart, it uses every form to show you the majesty of what you are.  

When our spiritual fantasies, superstitions, fables, and narcissistic tales are burned up in love’s cauldron, all that remains is you, as you are: ordinary, humble, and an unprecedented vessel through which love’s qualities come into expression. You are astonished to see it was not what you thought: you are not healed, you are not transformed, you are not fixed, you are not “awakened”; for what you are is far beyond all that. You are alive.

You are inside a mandala of love, where galaxies are being born and dying in every moment. There is a certain ache of sadness here, you realize how alone you really are. But it is not an ordinary sadness, far from an ordinary aloneness: love is pouring through the cracks and the holes in your heart. It is so fragile, so precious – this human body and these miracle senses. You are now held by love, but know that that love would never protect you from breaking, it would never make you totally safe; it would never allow you to rest in some resolved state. You see so clearly, though, that it was never these experiences that you were really after. You are being called to something entirely different.