Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Recycled by the beloved

There is a trade-off that each of us must face if we choose love as the organizing principle in our lives. It is not possible to give everything for love, to burn in the fires of intimacy, and escape utter, unbearable vulnerability. It is not possible to let the unknown guide us into the uncertainty of the grace-caves of love, and not live every moment until the day we die in an empty-luminous field of utter groundlessness. If what we really want is love, we must be willing to feel everything – especially the tender sadness at the core of each and every human heart. If there is one other person experiencing sadness on this planet, we, too, will wade into the deep waters of broken-openness with them. We will stay very, very close. 

We will be called to surrender the irresistible movement to exit immediate experience for some “better,” more “spiritual,” “higher” state of consciousness, and be finished forever with our spiritual fantasies of “awakening,” “enlightenment,” “pure consciousness,” “God-realization,” and all the rest of it. None of this can survive an encounter with love, for such a meeting involves a shattering, a loss of hope, and an abandonment of all dreams and second-hand spiritual acquisitiveness; along with the simultaneous fulfillment of the most essential longing that this raw human heart could ever, ever, ever know. In this love, we are crucified, resurrected, and transfigured over and over and over again, recycled by the Beloved and seeded as grace-fertilizer throughout every star in every galaxy, no longer riveted to what new glorious spiritual experiences can I get for me in this day, but how can my life and my love for others become one continuous prayer of gratitude in motion. I’ll take this life, thank you; this experience, this state of consciousness, without the demand for some other, better, more “spiritual” or more “divine” one. For I know that everything I could ever want is embedded by grace within it.


  1. Wow, beautiful! Thanks for writing!

  2. Absolutely stunning..........and true. I am nearly speechless as your writings capture so eloquently what I know and feel, but often find I am incapable of articulating. Anticipating the time and day when I meet a lover with whom I can share this. For too long, I meet only those who look at me as if I am out of my mind!! And, asking more than anyone can give! And, they say that when I haven't even revealed a tenth of me! But, oh they love and want my "energy"...and my uniqueness; but, then they want to cap it or squelch it, or at the very least not have to meet me there! Alas...I am growing too....and opening to meeting that one with whom it will be mutually evocative and provocative and loving and gloriously messy!

    1. Thank you, friend... yes, let us be out of our minds together, fools for love, somehow, crazily, allowing this one and only wild heart to be polished into eternity...

  3. Sweet! I cut and pasted your answer.....enlarged it into big type....bolded it up....italicized it.....printed it.....and made 3 copies so it can be put in front of my eyes/mind/heart in multiple places!!! Such fun!

    By the way....I lived in Boulder in the mid 80s; my son was born there! And I came back this past summer for the first time in 24 years!! It was a bit of an eye opener!!! We probably walked by each other on Pearl St!!

  4. Beautiful and inspiring .