Thursday, September 1, 2016

Visitors of aliveness

There are times when the ground has fallen away, and there are no longer any reference points from which to make sense of what is happening. The narratives are conflicting, the feelings are contradictory, and the path forward is hazy. It’s as if you can’t access what was so clear from even a few days ago.

All of the work you’ve done – the surrendering, the healing, the forgiving, the realizations, the staying in the now… for some reason, it’s no longer in reach. It’s as if you’re being asked to start over.

While the mind will interpret the starting over as failure, inside the heart it is sacred. Love is always asking you to start over, in each moment to return into the naked, tender, erupting purity of the unknown.

There is a sense that some sort of veil is parting, but what is coming next has not yet been given. At times it feels so creative in the unknown, but at other times it is disorienting there, and the yearning for resolution burns through your body. A certain death has come and you know that things will never be the same. But the rebirth has not yet appeared, and the longing for ground is rippling through you.

Rather than struggle against the uncertainty, the invitation is to rest inside it. There is a sanctuary there, though it is hidden and may not be accessible via ordinary means. But you can reach it through a portal inside your heart. Look there. While the mind may spin during times of bardo and reorganization, the body knows… the heart knows. Go there.

Stay close to what is alive now, even if what is there is flat, numb, and confused. For these are special visitors of aliveness, and operate outside conventional awareness. They serve to open and close dimensions of your vulnerability that have fallen outside your reach.

Listen carefully to the invitation, as it arrives in a thundering silence: Today may not be a day for answers, but to let your heart break open to the vastness of the question.

Photo by Tansel Öğütgen