Monday, May 2, 2016

The invitation of the beloved

The invitation of the beloved, in each of his or her forms, is to step fully into the crucible of relationship where we no longer limit the mystery of love’s expression, resisting the demand that the fires of love conform to our hopes and fears.

And to open to the possibility that the purpose of love is not to provide consistent feelings of certainty, connection, validation, and aliveness. Dare to see that nothing has gone wrong with your relationship or with love itself ifthese feelings are not always present. Love is the movement of wholeness, and intimacy will always reveal that which has yet to be metabolized within you.

Perhaps the beloved has not come to confirm what we think love is – or the ways we have come to believe we must be seen - but rather to introduce us to the vast, creative terrain of the unknown, and to the truth that it was never going to turn out the way we thought.

Perhaps there will always be surges of grief, sadness, fear, anger, jealousy, shame, confusion, and irritation that arise in the open field of lovers and friends. For the more we allow the ‘external’ other to matter, the vaster the invitation for the ‘internal’ other to come alive within us.

In this sense, the beloved is a tour guide into the secret world of your psyche, your heart, your body, and your perceptions. It is not the beloved’s role to see you as you are, but to stay close as you step into the mystery of your own infinity.

Art by Gustav Vigeland, c/o the Vigeland Park in Oslo