Tuesday, March 1, 2016

The call to pure aliveness

As long as you remain tangled in the spell of unworthiness, you will inevitably postpone fully being here, and continue to place the burden of your unlived life on those around you.

Look carefully and see how the orphaned pieces of your body, your heart, and your nervous system continue to appear as your partners, your family, your children, your friends, and even as the colors in an erupting winter sunrise. They will never give up on you. And will look for you forever.

Even though you sense a miracle is unfolding, it may not be possible to fully participate until the trance is broken. As a sensitive little one, you made meaning of a world devoid of attunement and mirroring by blaming yourself – by coming to believe that something was wrong with you, that you were flawed, and that you were not worthy of resonance.

As painful as this was, it was much safer than interpreting the caregiving field around you as limited and incapable of empathic connection. For to do so would be to let in waves of terror and massive dysregulation. While these conclusions once served an important function, the veil is starting to part, and the call to pure aliveness is beginning to thunder.

Honor the role that your internal family has played until now – the unlovable one, the unworthy one, the ‘broken’ one, and the one who has failed. These ones have served as important companions along the way, by providing context, meaning, and keeping you out of unbearable feelings. You need not go to war with them now, nor aggressively send them away, nor even ‘let them go.’ For they will let go of you when they are no longer needed to protect you from your embodied vulnerability.

To let in the implications of this is utterly exhilarating. And completely terrifying simultaneously. You need not take sides, but hold the contradictions closely. All feelings are valid.

One world is ending so that another may appear from behind the clouds of separation. While it may take everything you have, you were sent here to make this journey, to re-author the story, and to be the vessel through which love may find safe passage here.

Photo credit: the holding field of Maroon Bells near Aspen, by Kevin McNeal