Tuesday, March 22, 2016

An invitation to reorganize

When feelings of shame and unworthiness appear, they come not as an obstacle to harm you, but as an invitation to reorganize. As Frankl reminds us, our freedom is found in the space between stimulus and response. As these young visitors surge in a sensitive nervous system, a doorway appears. 

On one side is the old circuitry of self-aggression. By way of denying or seeking urgent relief from the intensity, you re-enact the ways your vulnerability was met as a young child in your family of origin. Depending on your attachment narrative, the amygdala will guide you into the caverns of flight-flight. And the spontaneous creativity of the ‘here and now’ is replaced with the misattunement of the ‘there and then.’ 

On the other side is the new pathway of slowness, empathy, attunement, and kindness. Listen carefully to the invitation as it arises out of the relational field. Each day it will be offered, as you allow others to matter to you, and as you allow yourself to care more and more about this world. 

The aliveness you long for will never be found in the eradication of the unwanted, but only in the revelation of the love it carries.