Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Allowing love to re-author the story
When you are triggered and the feelings are just too much, it is very likely that your core narrative – what you believe about yourself, about others, and the world – is close and nearby. It is circling around you, not to harm or work against you, but as a harbinger of integration. It is longing to be re-authored, but needs to hear from you first that you no longer need its protection. In ways that seem counter-intuitive, it is trying to help you, and keep you out of dysregulation, disintegration, and flooding.
In a moment of intensity and disturbance, become curious about the story you are telling, about the perceptual lens through which you are seeing yourself. This narrative arose as a little one, long ago, in the attempt to make sense of an environment that was lacking in empathic, attuned, right-brain to right-brain connection.
Step back just a bit and let the narrative know you are calling off the war. Ask it to reveal itself – how it is trying to protect you, why it has come, and what it needs from you. Hold it near and honor it for all it has done for you, but with kindness let it know that it is time for an update.
And that it will be love that is downloading the upgrade.
And then, with capacities you did not have as the narrative was formed, you can begin the journey of encoding new circuitry, of laying down a new pathway. With your presence, your compassion, your empathy, and with all the wisdom you have gathered, you can update the narrative and weave a new story, one that is more current, integrated, accurate, and whole.
This new story will arise out of the slow, spacious, wise domain of the pre-frontal cortex, replacing the urgent, claustrophobic reactivity of a raging amygdala, which was only trying to protect you after all.
Ask a guide to bear witness with you, as this reorganization is an immense undertaking of courage. Find a therapist, a lover, a friend, a teacher, a tree, a bird, a dog, a mountain, the sky, the sun, or the moon. Allow them to hold you as you open. And ask all of the seen and unseen ones to help you explore whether you still need to be protected from the allies of the emotional and sensory world.
Look carefully, and see. You can contain so much.
Art by Josh Adamski