Sunday, December 6, 2015

At the threshold of aliveness



At times, you may become aware of a subtle burning within and around you. Something is attempting to reach you, through the dream of partiality, as you wake in the morning, wander through the day, and are present to how fragile it truly is here. This longing can appear as an actual sensation in the body or more energetically as the activity of reorganization within your nervous system. Something is calling, drawing you into union, but it is far too vast and creative to approach by way of the known.

For some, this experience is associated with profound melancholy, for others an actual ache in the heart, and for others feelings of hopelessness, despair, joy, or bliss. You are being called back home, but it is not the home of the mind and what has come before. It is into your homeless nature, as the wanderer of love.

For those who are attuned to this movement, it can appear as an actual substance, a type of nectar come to seed new pathways, dissolving what you thought you knew about yourself, love, intimacy, ‘spirituality,’ what you thought you ‘needed,’ and ‘why you’re here.’ This substance is a primordial drop of integration, symbolizing the end of one world so that another can begin.

At times, it can feel as if your very survival is at risk – the anxiety, the urgency, the frenetic scramble for answers, for clarity, for some ground in which to seek refuge. You are convinced something must be ‘healed.’ It is here where a doorway appears, inside the very core of your heart. It is now that you need yourself more than ever. Stay close. Everything has led up to this very moment. Everyone you’ve met and every miracle feeling, emotion, and sensation placed into your holy nervous system… you are at the threshold of aliveness.

As you learn to stay embodied, present, and kind to the fires of love, you may come to see the burning as a sacred friend, though at times a very wrathful one, an old unmet part of you, not come to harm but to reveal something important and outrageous about the nature of love.

The burning is not an obstacle on your path, but is the very path itself. As you surround it with your warmth and holding, it will purify your heart and your connection with beings everywhere, so that you can attune to them and help them in unknown, infinite ways.


1 comment:

  1. This is lovely. Sometimes when this ache comes on strong I relax into it and it is indeed a source of integration. Sometimes, though, I feel like a portal that is open too wide. I am exhausted physically and mentally from the surges of energy passing through my body, I can feel like my entire body and psyche is an exposed nerve. I can feel almost paralyzed with the intensity of the experience and at some point, you just have to get on with life.. work, kids, dinner, etc. How do you get along when doing this sort of super intense inner work? My solution has been to slow everything down: walk slow, eat slow, drive slow. But moving that slow and being so exhausted starts to get a little rough. Just an open question in case anyone out there has experience with this. Thank you so much for this blog.

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