Sunday, November 22, 2015
The erupting union of inner and outer space
Underneath the unfolding narrative, just beyond the rich, compelling storyline – even below the colorful emotional landscape – there exists a rich, mysterious world of sensations: a somatically-organized field of intelligence, creativity, and aliveness.
It is dizzying here, awash with particles of the unknown and the unborn. Something is pulling you, but it can be disorienting and terrifying to the mind burning for certainty and resolution. The urge to return to the known, to get a hold of ‘your life,’ and to renew the dream of control can appear as overwhelm in the nervous system. Without pathologizing the movement back to ground, allow the mind the rest, even for just a moment. Dare to consider that nothing has gone wrong, nothing need urgently be resolved, and that no answers are coming… for now.
You are in the non-ordinary world of presence – strangely familiar, but dreamlike and excruciatingly fresh. The mind will continue its search for what is wrong, but here there are no ‘problems,’ no ‘complaints,’ no shaming or blaming, and no trance of unworthiness. There is nothing to be fixed, cured, transformed, or shifted. There is no ‘spirituality’ here, nor any conceptual process of any kind. In fact there is nothing personal here at all. Just an untamed fire of presence. And a growing sense of unbearable aliveness.
It can be confusing when you realize that there is no separation between the forms that arise within awareness and awareness itself. No matter where you are, you remain in and as the center. Whatever appears – fear, sadness, abandonment, joy, bliss, or wild fiery rage – is utterly valid, totally workable, and a unique, never-before-met portal into the warmth of inner space.
Descending into the body, into the unknown, into the wide-open unprecedented realm of the here and now is exhilarating, yet there may always be some fear, some anxiety, and some trepidation about it all. These surging feelings are not evidence that something has gone wrong, but only of how open it truly is here. Part of you longs to dissolve into the vastness and to give everything for love, while another part will do anything to avoid that sort of surrender. You need no longer go to war with these parts, but hold them all in cosmic embrace. All is welcome here. All is path.
Within the wisdom field of what you are, there is no longer any complaining, resentment, or blaming of yourself or others for your life circumstances. Nor is there any 'transformation' or 'healing' as you have come to think of these terms. Nothing is 'unhealed' or in need of transformation. Just raw, naked, experience, free from interpretation. Raw, tender, open, and warm.
What you are is the erupting union of inner and outer space. Your body is an invitation, an entryway and threshold into the activity of this union. Out of the shimmering, pregnant, alive womb of pure awareness flow the qualities of compassion, attunement, and presence.
Please don’t forget what you are.
Art by Jan Lakey