Friday, November 27, 2015

How well did I love?

On this new Thanksgiving day, it is so easy to take for granted that tomorrow will come – that another opportunity will be given to witness a sunrise, to enter the breathless with the moon, to be astonished at the crystals in the newly fallen snow, to dissolve into presence with the deer on our morning walk.

But another part of us knows it is so fragile here, so precarious, so short-lived, and that this opening into life will not be here for much longer. Recognizing this, let us give thanks on this new day by doing whatever we can to help others, by being fully here and entering into the miracle with them, willing to give everything for love, no longer apologizing for our uniqueness, our sensitivity, and our vulnerability.

At the end of this life – which is sure to come much sooner than we expect – it is unlikely we'll be asking if we accomplished the tasks on our to-do lists, if we completed some mythical spiritual journey of ‘awakening,’ perfected ourselves, ‘healed’ our past, played it safe, got all of our ‘needs’ met, made it big, ‘manifested’ everything we wanted, or achieved all of our goals.

Inside these hearts there may be only one burning question: how well did I love?

Did I pause each day to behold the utter miracle of just one unfolding here and now moment? Was I willing to take a risk, to feel more, to care so deeply about this life, to let everyone matter, and to honor *this* very experience, exactly as it has been given? Did I stay close with the untamed movement of sweet and fierce grace as it took form as the others in my life, and as the wisdom flow of feeling, of emotion, and of sensation in this very body? Was I willing to fall in love, to truly fall in love with this life, exactly as it is?

Did I spend my time here in this outrageous star wisely, with my heart open and available, knowing it could be broken in any moment? Did I dance with the beloved around the moon, wander with him into the desert and into the darkness, play with her in the depths of the oceans, surrendering everything for just one glimpse of the mysteries of separation and union?

What is it that remains unlived… for you? And will you give everything to know this? To no longer be caught in the trance of unworthiness, in the spell that there is a love coming tomorrow, and in the dream of postponement. You need not delay your full participation here for another moment. Not until after you heal your past, become awakened, call in your soul mate, get your partner to change and see you ‘as you are,’ attract the right groovy work, or have certain spiritual experiences.

The bounty and the harvest of thanksgiving is upon you, always already here, erupting in the here and now as the cells and the beating of your very own heart.

I hope I make it all the way through this sweetest of ever thanksgiving days, but if for some reason I do not, this would have been enough. I have been given so much more than enough.

Photo by Carl De Souza