Sunday, September 20, 2015

The movement of love is that of a sacred thief

There is a longing in you to be fully seen, to be loved, to be held, and to be embraced as you are. Since you emerged from the holy womb, this longing has unfolded within you, as an unbearable sort of grace. But please know the implications of this are immense, and are cosmic in proportion.

To allow yourself to be met in this way a part of you must die. While there is a part of you that is ready for this sacred death, another is scrambling for safe ground: who will I be without the dream of unworthiness? Without the spell of ‘something missing’? And without the trance of ‘there is something wrong with me’? You have no idea what will remain in the dissolving of these archaic narratives.

Everything you’ve come to believe that you ‘weren’t’ will be brought on display. Every creative strategy you’ve ever devised to stay out of your raging, burning vulnerability will be illuminated. All of the trap doors and secret hideaways will be revealed by the beloved, and you will remain completely naked, raw, and exposed before him. Honor the reality that while this may feel exhilarating at times, that it will feel terrifying at others. Hold this precious contradiction close to your heart, without any fantasy that you will ever ‘resolve’ it.

As you step into the unknown and turn toward the achy tenderness of being, you will be asked to let go of all of the old dreams – of the unlovable one, the unworthy one, the imperfect one, and the broken one. And to see very carefully the many benefits you are still receiving by holding onto these ways of being in the world and relating with others. They are serving a function for you – and you must discover what this purpose is, surrounding it with a wild compassion and what Rumi called a ‘mighty kindness.’ Honor the function these roles have been playing, touch them with your presence, and discover once and for all if you still need to be protected from love.

You must even say goodbye to the awakened one, the ‘healed’ one, the invulnerable one, and the one dwelling in a ‘high vibration,’ seeing how these identities especially are yet deeper, embedded barriers between you and love, between you and the penetrating, unknown aliveness of the heart. You are neither awake nor asleep, neurotic nor sane, separate nor one – you are wild and vast, and beyond all this.

The movement of love is that of a sacred thief, come to remove your clothing and your concepts, and to burn away everything that is false and less than whole within you. And when it is done all that will be left is a raging firestorm of creativity, sensuality, openness, warmth, and kindness. For this is what you are.

Photo by Pawel Papis of Cathedral Cove, New Zealand