Friday, August 21, 2015

The jewels hidden in the dark soil of the body

At times, the greatest gift we can offer a friend in pain is to sit in the darkness with them, removing the burden that they change, ‘feel better,’ or ‘heal’ in order for us to stay close. It may feel like urgent action is being called for and that we must shift their depression to joy, their sadness to bliss, and their hopelessness to hope. But in doing so, we disavow the jewels that are hidden in the dark soil of the body.

Let us love the other so much that we refuse to pathologize their present, arising experience, and create with them a sanctuary in which their emotional world can unfold and illuminate. Let us honor the integration that is occurring and the raging wholeness that they are, in both its peaceful and its wrathful expressions.

Above all, to do whatever we can so that they know in their hearts that we will not remove our love, our attunement, and our presence simply because their experience is not conforming to our personal and collective fantasies of happiness and light.

As we weave a home for our own unmet sadness, disappointment, and despair, we withdraw the projection of our unlived lives from the environment around us. For it is to the degree that we can provide safe passage for the unwanted within that we can truly love another.

Art by Eric Vasquez