Monday, June 22, 2015
Let us hold all fathers in our hearts today, in recognition of the gift of life they have given us. Some of us are close with dad, some are not. Some have very fond memories of him and some do not. Some of us never really got to know that person we call(ed) 'dad,' what really moved and inspired him, what he really wanted from this life, and what his unique relationship was with the movement of love.
But the one thing we do know is that, just like us, dad only ever wanted to be happy, to be free from suffering, and at some level wanted to know the mysteries of loving and being loved, just like us. Also like us, dad is/ was only able to use the tools he had been given to take the journey that was his. It is not likely dad was raised by enlightened parents or in an environment which fully mirrored the majesty and brilliance that he was at the deepest levels. And, like us, dad has acted out of his own pain, in ways that have caused suffering for him, for us, and those around us. Just like us.
We may never understand the nature of dad’s journey, why he acts as he does, what scares him, opens him, or touches his heart – what his deepest fears and longings are, what keeps him up at night, or what causes him to fall to the ground in awe. We may never be able to make sense of it. But perhaps today is not a day of answers or understanding, or even of 'healing,' 'forgiving,' or 'accepting'. Perhaps today is a day of just one moment of sacred pause, heart-connection, and shared presence.
Whether dad is still on this earth or love has sent him elsewhere, it is possible to fully connect with him right here and right now, for he is alive inside every cell of your heart. The beloved has sent him into the strands of your DNA, for reasons we may never know, and in most cases he has done his best to love you, given his own limited abilities and influences. Perhaps he succeeded, perhaps he has failed. Or perhaps it has been mixed, as our love has been for him.
No matter what has happened in the past, or the nature of your relationship with this one we call ‘dad,’ he has provided the gift of life, a precious human body, and the opportunity to take this rare human journey, to explore the mysteries of love in form. While some of us may not be able to meet and connect with dad in this way, if our time with him was just too painful or too destructive, we can hold this aspiration in our hearts and allow the seeds of love to flower in their own way, at their own time.
May we honor Father on this day in all of his emanations, in all of his forms – personal, collective, transpersonal, and beyond – and may we be guided by the wisdom qualities that have come down through fathers everywhere, since beginningless time.
Photo: my dad and my sweet little boy, circa 2001...