Tuesday, June 30, 2015

A home for the guests of the somatic world

When we start to see how the creation of drama and conflict in our lives is maintained to help keep us out of very vulnerable states of being, we can then allow ourselves to simply lose interest in continuing with it. While this process is in many ways quite simple, it is not easy. For the drama and the conflict are protecting us from re-embodying to those feelings we have spent our entire lives ensuring that we just do not have to feel.

So many that I speak with are longing to feel alive, to be here fully, to participate in the miracle world which they sense is here, but just can’t… quite… reach. But we will never know this aliveness without turning back into our vulnerability, into the unresolved grief, sadness, loneliness, rage, confusion, and fear that up until now we would do just about anything to avoid.

As we are willing to stay close and practice intimacy with what is appearing moment by moment, and to re-train our nervous systems out of the habitual movement of fight/ flight/ freeze, we can then begin to infuse arising experience with space, with presence, with kindness, and with warmth. In this we can discover that the uninvited guests of the somatic world have not come to harm us but to reveal an already existing portal into love. Then, we may notice the compulsive need to generate additional drama and conflict very organically falling away. And in its place will appear a certain primordial kind of rest.

This doesn’t mean we’re ‘happy’ all the time or maintaining some new image of a life of invulnerability, continuous ground and certainty, hovering above it all as some detached ‘witness’ from the inherent messy mandala that love is. But somehow it’s all workable. It’s all valid. We’re willing at any moment to experience heartbreak, confusion, penetrating sadness, anxiety, even depression and rage. Each of these waves is allowed in the vastness of the heart, each worthy of your intimate presence, curiosity, and kindness.

It is in this commitment, to the truth of your experience, exactly as it is – over and over descending underneath the very colorful storyline and into the underlying energy of the waves of love, in whatever sweet or fierce form they take, that you will step into the aliveness that you are longing for, which is your very birthright. And it is by loving yourself in this way that the dramas of self-abandonment are extinguished, and you can fully be there for others.