Friday, May 22, 2015

Rest your achy nervous system

The next time you notice yourself looping in a dramatic narrative about what is wrong with you, about what someone did or didn’t do or say, about how you’re not being ‘seen’ by others, or how unworkable your life situation is, just stop. Love yourself enough to… just… stop…

Wash your inner landscape with the gift of sacred pause. Slow way down. Come back into your senses and rest your achy nervous system. Lay one hand on your heart and another on your belly. Oxygenate your cells with pure presence.

Come back into the vastness, the slowness, and the raging intelligence of your body in the here and now, and ask: what feeling-state am I trying to get away from? Through all of the scrambling, the shaming, the blaming, the storytelling, the interpreting, the attribution of cause, the attempts at understanding, what is finally being asked to be met, in the somatic crucible of aliveness?

And will I love myself and this world enough to finally turn toward it?

It is so easy to use the energies of drama and conflict to take us out of very intense states of vulnerability, where we remain spinning around our lived, immediate experience, drowning in stories of shame, blame, and victimhood, in hopes of avoiding the underlying feelings and surges of the emotional and somatic world. Dare to see that nothing is happening to you from the outside. There are only lonely, abandoned, orphaned parts of you longing to be let back into the majesty that you are.

In just one radiant moment you can end the cycle of aggression and the violence of self-abandonment. And in so doing, step out of the mandala of self-absorption and into the love, vulnerability, and aliveness that you are so longing for. See that you no longer need to abandon yourself and exit out of your precious immediate experience and into the storyline of the mind in its attempt to protect you. For you need no longer be protected from the fires of love.

Please do not postpone full participation in this miracle life that is here now, waiting for your situation or another person to change, shift, transform, or conform to your hopes, fears, and crumbling dreams. Step into the mandala of presence – with kindness, with space, and with tenderness as your allies. For this world needs you now more than ever.

1 comment:

  1. A few mornings ago, while feeling utterly disturbed and tormented, I asked for guidance from Spirit, and was guided directly to this post. What an epiphany! What a warm, clear, invitation back home.

    I made two copies to bring to work with me--one for me to refer to, in case I went back into my rant about everything I thought was wrong--to have that lifeline back to sanity, and one for a colleague.

    But, what happened was a new client arrived in a very vulnerable state, and after some time, I offered it to her to read. She, too was so very touched by this, and felt the tender support of the invitation home. She asked if she could have a copy. Of course.

    Then, I saw a friend, and shared it with her. She asked if she could have a copy. Of course!

    When I read this, I feel my nervous system unwind. I wonder--"How could I have gotten so distracted and contracted that I turned away from my deep and tender places?" Wasn't there a time when I knew this? And yet, abandoned that for other pursuits. Such is the challenge of straddling one's inner being and the "marketplace", I suppose.

    I sat in meditation, amazed at how I had somehow overlooked the opportunity to actually sit and feel into that tight knot in my stomach. I relaxed into curiosity, and acceptance. After some time, the knot dissipated as a byproduct of loving presence.

    How could I have forgotten that my body communicates with me, and has wisdom to share in the form of the sensations I feel? Our body is our teacher. Gives messages to call us back home. But somehow we get irritated and want to reach outside of ourselves to make it "GO AWAY!", and act like our body has betrayed us, when actually it is the other way around.

    I am so grateful to be called back home again.