Tuesday, March 17, 2015
When will the burning end?
When will the burning end? You have gone through so much. So many dreams have fallen away, so much of what you thought you knew and needed has dissolved in front of you. You've surrendered, you've let go, you've accepted, you've witnessed, you've inquired, you've forgiven, and even 'stayed in the now.' You've given everything to know the mysteries of love. You're tired. Cosmically exhausted. None of the worn-out concepts have any meaning any longer.
But somehow you are still being asked ... to ... burn ... more. To stay close. No. Not that. Where has the grace gone? All that is left now is a raging, unrequited longing, a surging achiness in your body, and an unbearable rawness in your heart. You are suspended between one world and another. You cannot find any sort reference point from the past from which to organize or make sense of your experience; but nor can you look to the future to 'create' what is next. If you try to 'escape,' it hurts even more; but you don't even know what the alternative is.
And then in the next moment, when all hope has vanished into an unbearable surging of hopelessness, the beloved arrives in ways and forms that you would have never imagined. He or she has something important to show you. It is revealed so clearly that this longing, this burning, and this agonizing tenderness is the return message. Love has not abandoned you, but is pouring through the cracks in your armor, dissolving everything that is untrue and less than whole within you. It is re-wiring your body, re-calibrating the cells of your heart, dropping seeds of aliveness and compassion, and laying new pathways of blessing through your nervous system.
Stay still. Do not move from this moment. Dare to see that no mistake has been made. See that grace could never leave you, even for an instant. For he or she is not a destination or a goal, but a lover. From here, only revelation. It is all revelation now. But it is a revelation that is utterly new and creative, and is never going to correspond to what has been known previously.