Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Catalyzing drama in our interpersonal relationships

We all have ways of engaging with and even catalyzing drama in our interpersonal relationships. If we look carefully, with curiosity and kindness, we may discover the reason for this, in large part, is that the drama is serving a distractive or avoidant function – helping to keep us out of very vulnerable states of being. While it may appear that we are moving toward intimacy, we can in fact be moving away.

While it may appear we are staying close to our embodied vulnerability, we may in fact be ensuring we never have to get too close. Given our early histories, this is very natural and need not be judged, shamed, and blamed, but can be held and explored with a dynamic sort of compassion.

If we will slow down, be willing to befriend ourselves at the deepest levels, and open our hearts to the entirety of what we are, we may come to discover the ways that even subtle levels of drama are serving to protect us from the fiery alchemical crucible that is intimacy. It is so open, unknown, groundless, and without reference point inside the mandala of love, we very naturally spin to cut into that much nakedness, that much tenderness, and that much creativity.

As we begin to discover the ways we are re-enacting old strategies of distancing and protection, it is important we do not shame ourselves or conclude that we have failed, that something is wrong with us, or that something must urgently be 'fixed.' This is the path of love.  

Everything is okay, exactly as it is. The path is everywhere. Stay close. Rest. Lay your hands on your heart. Infuse your entire being with loving kindness. Everything... is... okay. You are okay, exactly as you are... right here. Right now.