Saturday, February 28, 2015
The unconscious investment in suffering and struggle
It can be helpful to see the unconscious investment we have in our own suffering and struggle. Of course at a conscious level we do not want to feel unseen, unmet, or unworthy of love. But how might holding onto these archaic identities be serving us? Why is it that on some level we are not... quite... ready... to give them up?
While it may seem that your greatest fear is coming to terms with the belief that something is wrong with you, that you are not enough, or that you are unlovable as you are, what if it were just the opposite? What if you came face-to-face with the raging truth that you are not the unlovable one, that there is nothing wrong with you and never has been, and that you are so much more than 'enough?' What sort of primordial fear might be unleashed in the full embodiment of this truth? What would have to change?
What if you could no longer delay full, embodied, conscious participation in this miracle world while you 'wait' for you your past to be 'resolved,' for all of your wounds to be healed, until you awaken into some 'permanent' state of invulnerability and safety from heartbreak, until you always feel 'happy,' until you find your 'soul mate,' manifest your 'life's purpose,' or 'complete' some mythical spiritual journey?
What if you could truly no longer blame yourself, your parents, your partner, your kids, your boss, or anyone or anything for your unhappiness and dissatisfaction?
Let us love ourselves – and all beings everywhere – by taking a moment to contemplate what it is that is truly motivating us to act the way we do. We can honor the protective function these identities have provided while finally releasing them from the burden of protecting us any longer. We can touch them for a moment and then let them dissolve back into the vast space of awareness, releasing them from the burden of providing shelter from the uncompromising, relentess, unresolvable, groundless reality of love. Yes, as a result we may be asked to stay embodied to surging waves of feeling and sensation that they have protected us from – including loneliness, fear, panic, and anxiety. But that is fine. Everything is welcome here. It is all path.
Your commitment to staying close with your vulnerability is the doorway to the aliveness you are longing for. It is so full-spectrum in the vastness of your heart. May we no longer postpone full engagement with this precious human life, until our 'sense of self' or our outer circumstances have magically configured into the way we think they should be. For it will all be gone before we know it.