The yoga of intimacy

The invitation of the beloved, in each of his or her forms, is to step fully into the crucible of relationship where we no longer limit the mystery of love’s expression, resisting the temptation to have the fires of love conform to our endless requirements. And to open to the reality that perhaps the purpose of love and intimacy is not to provide endless feelings of safety, certainty, connection, validation, and the meeting of our ever expanding list of 'needs.' The beloved has not come to confirm what we think love is – or the ways we have come to believe we must be seen - but rather to introduce us to the wild creative terrain of the unknown, and to the vast, warm openness of our true nature.

Perhaps there will always be surges of grief, sadness, fear, anger, jealousy, shame, and irritation that arise in the intersubjective field of lovers. Let us remain committed to meeting each of these archaic emissaries with loving awareness, seeing each as a portal into the sweet and fierce mandala of the beloved and his or her transformative world. And make the commitment to befriending whatever arises in our immediate somatic reality, no matter how disturbing, joyful, irritating, or intense. For these are the gifts of the yoga of relationship, if we will receive them.

Though we may never know the actual route or destination – and though the beloved may always and forever continue to take us into the deep, dark recesses of our own heart, without any promise of resolution or a life of invulnerability – let us stay close, tenderly holding the hand of our lovers as we take this journey together. For it is so precious.

Above all, please be kind to yourself and your partners if you truly decide to take up the yoga of intimacy, knowing that it will take everything you have to navigate, and much more. And in return offers nothing. Well, except for everything you have ever truly longed for.

Allow the beloved to reveal that you are no one, and in that you will behold the eternal nature of love.