Thursday, January 8, 2015

Anxiety as a harbinger of integration

There may be a subtle feeling of anxiety that accompanies you throughout the day. Perhaps you feel it as you wake, some vague sense that something is missing or just... off. But you can't quite name it. It is tempting to try to pin it to something—to something someone said, to a feeling of loneliness, to fear of some anticipated scenario in the future, to some specific part of your life situation. But you sense that it is not quite it.

It is so easy to dismiss anxiety, to conclude that its presence is evidence that you are flawed in some fundamental way, that something is wrong, that some mistake has occurred that must urgently be remedied, or that you have failed in some way. Oh, by the way, it's not very 'spiritual,' is it? I mean, what about staying in the now, loving what is, accepting the moment, laws of attraction, and all of that?

But what if anxiety were a very legitimate and valid experience, in fact a harbinger of integration? And the freedom you are longing for will arise not from 'transforming,' understanding, or even 'healing' it, but by entering into relationship with it? By practicing kindness toward it? What if anxiety was a messenger sent by some part of you that was longing to be met, finally arising into the light of your awareness to be integrated into the wholeness that you are?

What have you abandoned in yourself—turned from out of shame, grief, despair, or fear?

Something is knocking at the door of your heart. What is it?

Art by Emil Schildt – "Guarding" -