Sunday, December 7, 2014
Please help others in any way you can
Will you hold another who is being touched by the darkness within? Will you love them enough to allow them to fall apart in your arms? To unravel, to become unglued, and to feel unbearably lost as the wisdom of their process unfolds? Will you be the space in which they can finally meet the feelings and emotions that have been kept at bay for a lifetime?
To love another in this way you must touch that which has yet to be resolved and metabolized within you: the unmet sadness, abandoned shame, discarded grief, disavowed hopelessness, and deserted aloneness.
As you step into the transformative fires of love, the burden you have placed on the other that they change, be different, be 'cured,' be transformed, be 'happy,' be more 'in the now,' 'accept' everything around them, or even to 'heal' – this is all incinerated in the furnace of the beloved. Only pure presence remains, and its qualities of tender, warm, illuminating space.
In the mandala of presence, there is no longer the urgent movement to talk the other out of their present experience, to tell them everything will be okay, or to disavow the raging creativity hidden inside the unwanted. No matter where you look, you are not able to find any pathology here, only path. The beloved is alive in the space between, weaving you as a vessel to provide a home and a sanctuary for the pieces of their broken world, for the shards of their confusion, and for the crumbled hopes and dreams that have dissolved in front of their eyes. Your vow is to stay close.
As you allow your entire being to become an alchemical holding space for the metabolization of the intense and of the dark, inevitably your attention will at times move out into the conceptual, into interpretation, into attribution of cause, into resentment, into blame, and into the archaic conclusion that some mistake has been made that must urgently be corrected. As you notice this, simply take a moment of holy pause, slow way down, breathe deeply into and out of your lower belly, attune to the field between you, feel the aliveness of inner somatic vastness, and return to the wild intelligence of your embodied presence. Your path is one of space and kindness.
Inside the temple of your miracles senses, where love is operating its factory of unfolding heart-wisdom, the secret of the relational matrix is revealed: there is no 'other,' there has never been an 'other,' and there could never be an 'other.' There is only the reflection of pure being. Whatever arises in the field of translucent awareness is of the same nature as that awareness itself.
And then despite the pain of the present, the traumas of the past, and the broken dreams of the future, perhaps it was only love after all, taking whatever form it must so that it may unfold itself into this world, in ways the mind will never understand. But please remember that it is only you that can provide love safe passage here. Please do whatever you can to help others in whatever way you are able – to be there for them, to feed them, to hold them, to speak kindly to them, to allow them be what they are, and to show them that love is here and is alive, now. For there is no love coming tomorrow, no grace arriving in the future, and no awakening around the corner. There is only now.
Photo credit: Friends comfort each other outside the residence of Nelson Mandela in Johannesburg, shortly after his death, now one year ago. Photo c/o Thomson Reuters.