Monday, November 24, 2014

Utterly whole, yet achingly broken-open

At times it may seem as if you are a drifting homeless one of love, unsure of what will come next or of what is truly being asked of you. Nothing is making much sense these days, other than the aliveness of the sensual world. You are wandering through realms of dark and light, your only remaining refuge the tenderness that has formed as the very cells of your heart.

Inside your body there are friends of sadness, joy, loneliness, and bliss, which you practice intimacy with, doing anything you can to help others around you. You have seen beyond the worlds and no longer have a bias for separation or union, for you are willing to engage each equally in the seeding of the mandala of love.

You are utterly whole, yet achingly broken-open. And remain naked and dancing outside the conceptual world. 


  1. Matt,
    Thank you for your words in this blog that for me provide light to the dark, and new choices to very way I can experience life itself. Your words often provoke my awareness to open up to new possibilities and opportunities that may bring greater awareness of love in my life.

    While grateful for your blog, I find the perfection of thought you express almost intimidating for me to author any sort of reply or otherwise engage. That said, my big question is how do others (say normal human beings) consume, metabolize or just plain utilize the insights and learning's from your blog? (This is an invitation for Matt and everyone else to comment on) So with that question, below I offer my experience from incorporating what I've learned from your blog over the last months since I was introduced to it.

    Regardless of where I learned it or earned it, much of my life I've spent avoiding and denying the intensity of my own feelings. Your expansive dialog is often healing to the wounds of rejection I've cast upon the more sensitive parts of myself. As you call attention to and even validate my/our human capacity to intensely experience life, I begin to comprehend this intensity of feeling that I've avoided, as a gift of introduction to where love is/or can begin burning brightly. I have begun engaging awareness, acceptance, and surrender to that aspect of life that is greater than the mundane plans and controls I otherwise rely on. Pain has been the crucible upon which life seemed to reach a bottom for me and I became open to and introduced to your blog. Also, it continues to fuel my surrender to the dance of the beloved that you describe so well.

    Honestly, "the aliveness of the sensual world" is yet fairly blocked-out/inaccessible for me, more of a dream I think I've been lucky to have tasted a few different times in life. It is the embrace of inner tenderness you've described that I apply to my wounds and the labels I've given those wounds that brings me a sense of aliveness. This new tenderness towards myself builds a place of wholeness from which I now engage life, instead of the compartmentalized jigsaw puzzle of broken pieces that I have dutifully carried to each next great healer or final repair clinic in the sky. My personal prayer expressed through this tenderness, is to meld both joy and love across the chasm of isolation I've created to hide/protect those deepest of wounds.

    Thank you again for speaking to the intimacy of the present experience, the experience of feeling "achingly broken-open", without condemning a person as broken, or needing to be awakened, etc. in order to be complete. As well to the "eradication of the unwanted," at the cost/loss of the love hidden within the unwanted in life and the many other aspects of life that you've brought color and aliveness to in my life.

    Blessings & Gratitude,

    (novice blogger)

    1. Dear Mark, thank you for your very kind and open-hearted reply. I very much appreciate the inquiry you are sharing here. I also appreciate your question as to how to take the writing here and to apply it in practical ways in one's life - and realize that this is not always made clear here. For me, I relate to myself more as a poet, truthfully, than anything else and have found over the years that getting too prescriptive via social media has a way of not fully honoring the uniqueness of one's personal journey. Given this, much of my writing is more of a poetic invitation into one's own heart and wisdom than it is anything else.

      In my experience, nearly all of our wounds arose in an interpersonal environment and are best unwound within a relational matrix. Whether that is work with a somatically-attuned therapist, an emotionally-mature spiritual teacher, an empathic bodyworker, a precious lover, etc. that there is something unique about the relational world which supports the healing and awakening that many seem to be longing so deeply for.

      I have tried through this blog over the last couple of years to offer a healing space for others to find and to contact, in a very embodied way, the wisdom that lies buried deep inside them, especially when we are willing to take the risk of staying embodied, vulnerable, and present to the very open, groundless, and spacious dimension of love.

      Take care, my friend.