Monday, October 13, 2014

The mandala of pure intimacy

At times, the beloved will appear as an emissary of the unknown. In his presence, universes come and go. There is no solid, continuous ground to rest in, no reference point to lean into. No matter how deeply you look, you find only empty space. It is so wide open here, yet to touch him you must let go of the dreams of the unworthy one. 

She is holding you close, but it is a holding that is unbearably raw and without history. There is no support here for any fantasies of a life without vulnerability. You stand totally unclothed in her presence, unable to fool him like you fool so many others, unable to pretend you have it all together. 

Fortunately, the beloved has no interest in your holding it all together. She is uninterested in your self-maintenance and improvement projects; he unmoved by your hopes and fears of past and future. There is only now. The truth and implications of this are exhilarating and terrifying simultaneously.

She wants all the way inside and will use whatever skillful means she must to illuminate and bring your heart alive. In the alchemical fire that is the mandala of pure intimacy, he will always push up against that which is unresolved within you; for he loves you this much.