Friday, September 26, 2014
Love as the ultimate holding environment
One of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves and others is a holding environment in which we can come to rest in unstructured states of presence. For Winnicott, any effective holding environment is made up of two qualities: contact and space.
When we are in actual contact with our lived, embodied reality – as it arises in the here and now – we become vehicles of love in action. We are willing to make the commitment to stay close to the movement of feeling and sensation within us and to no longer abandon ourselves and our experience. To the degree we can offer this gift of love to ourselves, we will naturally do so for others.
Let us move together into that alchemical middle place of intimate exploration, holding, and transmutation – willing to take the risk that embodied vulnerability will always ask of us, willing to fully participate in our own and another's experience, and to no longer postpone this miracle life that we've been given. May we make intimate contact with our own hearts – and those of others – in the tender here and now, no longer holding back, giving everything to know love. For now is the only time.
Simultaneously, we can offer ourselves and others the wild gift of pure space, allowing experience to unfold and dance without our interference or habitual need to interpret, change, transform, or heal it. We can come to see that it is fine on its own, actually, radically intelligent and creative, and a movement of the unknown. Everything is okay. You are okay, as you are, now – your feelings are not mistakes which need to be corrected or healed by psychological or spiritual process.
Space is not something you will find one day through frenetic seeking and path work; for it is what you are – that vast, translucent capacity to hold and illuminate whatever arises.
Let us meet ourselves and others in this radical embrace of contact and space, willing to get intimate, messy, vulnerable, naked, and exposed; while at the same time not fusing or overly identifying with what appears in the unfolding here and now. Let us return, together, to the alchemical middle. And in this way provide a true holding environment for ourselves and others to come to know kindness as the only organizing principle of this special star we have found ourselves in.
And as we rest together in this holding field, we come to behold how luminous, shimmering, and precious it really is. For it is not crafted out of any ordinary substance, but is weaved out of particles of love.