Saturday, September 27, 2014

A refugee of love

At times we are called into the core of the transformative fires of love, yet we know that something will be lost there. We want love to give us something, but we already *are* everything. This is the secret gift of the beloved, that he or she has nothing to "give" you. But are you ready to risk the loss of the known, of all those ways you've come to see yourself, and want and to see yourself in the future? Are you ready to watch the ground fall out underneath all of your identities – the spiritual one, the unlovable one, the special one, the one who will accomplish great things, the lonely one, the happy one, the trusting one, the one who is growing and changing, the surrendered one, the hopeless one, and the hopeful one? 

What if love is coming raging into your world to show you that you were no one? Would you meet this? Or would you turn quickly away, scrambling into a new identity, urgently recreating the one who needs to be seen as this or that, as the one who has come to save the world, to be beheld as special, as a "healer," as an awakened one, as a savior, as a leader of souls, as one who has it all figured out, as one who has "mastered" life? As one who has it all together. 

The risk here is that you will end up a refugee, homeless in love, without any hope that you will ever resolve or come to terms with the wild, creative movement of the beloved in your life. Fortunately, it was never this certainty or this ground that you were really after anyway. Open to the longing to return home, to rest in your true nature, as no one. Give everything to know the fragrance of this archaic homesickness, to be that vessel in which pure, tender, non-special love may come like a wildfire into this world, erupting through your body and your heart, leaving nothing but ashes of grace in its wake.