Sunday, August 17, 2014

An unshakable faith in love's perfection

There is a longing wired into us to be seen and known by another, in the deepest and most profound way, exactly as we are. As little ones we came to know ourselves through relationship and it is by way of a relational matrix that the wound of love can be metabolized and healed. When our subjective experience is empathically held, accurately attuned to, and provided sanctuary to flower, we come to a natural place of rest, harmony, and sacred homeostasis. We are able to stop pretending for just a moment, to stop fighting so hard to be something other than what we are, and take a respite from the weary old exhausted struggle of maintaining that which is false and less than whole.

From this perspective, when we truly "love" another, we allow them to be what they are, at the most fundamental level. We do not need them to become something different in order for us to hold and love them. They are no longer a mere object in our own awareness, able to meet our "needs" or not, or there to regulate our emotional worlds for us, but actual subjects in their own right. They are a miracle erupting in our very presence. As we see this, we are able then to take the risk of love and to care so much about their actual, embodied subjectivity, about how this sweet one is organizing their reality and making meaning of their precious experience. It is then that we become vehicles of love in action.

In addition to meeting another in this way, we can also hold ourselves in such an environment, where we allow ourselves to be what we are, offering full permission for our experience to reveal itself according to that unique blueprint which was crafted in the stars. In so doing, we open a portal to the metabolization of self-experience by love, which very naturally releases tremendous freedom and energy for us to share our hearts with others, to engage in this world wisely, guided by a mighty kindness and wild compassion. On some intuitive level, we know that the degree to which we allow and love ourselves is the degree to which we can allow and love others, even (and especially) those aspects which we find disturbing, "unspiritual," shameful, and otherwise less-than-ideal. We are willing to enter into the darkness, into the shadow and the nether worlds of the heart, the psyche, and the body to find love and *all* of the places where it is hiding/ shining.

For so many I speak with, there is an undercurrent of aggression, self-hatred, unexamined shame, lack of acceptance, longed-for forgiveness, and absence of self-kindness toward their experience. Let us all take a pause, and from a place of love visualize a holding environment for ourselves, where we grant ourselves permission to make intimate and direct contact with our vulnerabilities, with our unguarded and unprotected hearts, with our unprocessed challenges from the past, and with our less-than-awakened thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We can take just one moment and appreciate the complexity and counter-instinctual nature of awakening and healing and allow a deeply profound love and kindness to fill us, cell by cell.

Let us be willing to no longer abandon ourselves, exiting into our stories and unkind judgments, and inquire with love into the habitual belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. Then, in an instant, we behold the flow of grace which pours through the eyes of everyone we meet, including that unknown precious one that we see when we look in the mirror. And then all that could possibly remain is an unshakeable faith in love’s perfection.