Wednesday, October 30, 2013
The journey of re-embodiment and holding, part 2
Go slow, friends, offer your holding to the intensity as it comes, gently at first. And then let it go – take a walk, touch the earth, feel your heart, look up into the sky. The opening of your body, the deepening of your intimacy with all that is, and the polishing of your heart are not projects for you to wrap up over a few hours, weeks, or months. You are not broken and not in need of fixing. Sit in your own presence and behold the intelligence that is your own body and the creative grace field that are your own senses. There is no hurry here, resist the habitual movement to resolve something, for in doing so you are not being kind to your experience. These days are behind you. What is happening here is far too precious for that.
Go into to the level of raw sensation, below the storyline, under the narrative, and meet these energies at their core. In an environment of loving awareness – and in the field of a revolutionary sort of kindness – it may be revealed that you are not actually being harmed by the mere presence of these movements within. Your sadness, your rage, your despair, your loneliness – you may come to see that they are lit up from within by particles of your own consciousness, empty and luminous, made of the substance of love itself. Inside your brokenness, right at the core of your fear, lit up from within the center of your longing, is a portal; it is a passageway lined with an unbearable sort of intelligence and creativity. Stay near.
When you craft a sanctuary for the light and the dark, the broken and the whole, and the confusing and the clear within you, you will stop the violence. You need no longer wage cosmic warfare against these pieces of yourself, concluding they should not be there, that they mean something about how “spiritual” or “awakened” you are, are evidence of your failure, or a sign of how unlovable you are. What you are is just too majestic for this.
Give yourself the gift of sacred pause. Go out into the natural world and open to the unseen dimensions. Recognize and honor the immensity of the journey you are on, how counter-instinctual it really is, and sense the support that has gathered around you. You are on the journey of re-embodiment, of creating refuge for all your orphaned parts and pieces, for you care so much about this body and this reality. You know that to the degree you open your heart to your precious immediate experience, you will be able to open to another.
You are even willing to touch the unwanted within you, for you know that to do so is to unlock the wild activity of the beloved. She is there, dancing behind the scenes, weaving light and dark, re-wiring somatic pathways within you so that you become fully translucent to her movement.
Go slow, friends, hold your immediate experience and allow it to reveal its secrets to you. Stay close. You are capable of so much, and are being supported in ways you may never know.