Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The journey of re-embodiment and holding

You have arrived at the threshold of the most miraculous journey, of turning toward that which you have previously disowned. When you were little, it was intelligent to dissociate from overwhelming feelings, to leave the environment of your immediate experience, and to disconnect from your somatic-emotional world. While the path of disembodiment was the best way you knew to care for yourself at the time, over several decades of practice, these strategies that once served you have now become embedded, solid, and frozen in the majesty that you are. Something new is emerging and is being born inside you; you can feel this. You are ready to know love as the organizing principle of this reality.  

You have arrived at the threshold of re-embodiment. 

You are now being asked to engage in the most radical act you could ever take. Doing so will go against almost everything you’ve learned and how you’ve moved in the world until now. It will require a complete re-wiring of your body and your heart. It will feel completely counter-instinctual and will involve stepping into some very unknown territory. It is the most uncompromising commitment you could ever make: 

To be kind to your own unfolding experience. 

In order to make this journey of (re) embodiment, radical self-kindness must become your new object of meditation. If sadness comes, if shame appears, if loneliness arrives, if despair rages within, practice holding these long lost pieces of yourself in an environment of kindness. These messengers have been sent as guides from beyond, not to destroy, distract, or work against you, but to reveal your wholeness, and the wild, untamed totality of love.  

Your entire somatic-emotional reality, and this miracle-like display of your senses and your sensitivity, is weaved together by pieces of oneness and separation. Your sadness, your despair, your confusion, and your longing – while appearing to be dense and solid – are revealed to be made of particles of pure consciousness, filled with a mixture of light and darkness which is brighter than a thousand suns. 

You are always being held, friends, but it is a holding that is working outside egoic process and the entire conceptual world. The beloved is holding you, she is the one being held, and she is the act of holding itself. What is happening here is causing the stars to be born.