When will my burning end? Have I not suffered enough? Have I not loved enough, prayed enough, meditated enough, broken enough, surrendered and fell to the ground enough? Where did the grace go? I’m losing hope.
You are not alone, friends. Will you consider for just a moment that this burning, that this fire within you, IS the response to your most primordial prayer, to the prayer that has carried you into this sacred human world? Here there is the human body, which is a realm of pure intelligence; here there is the entire sensory field, each sense a miracle portal unfolding between you and the beloved in your heart. You have been asking to open, to be healed, to transform, to know love as the organizing principle of this reality. You have been heard.
I hear from so many of you that you are in the midst of burning up, with the false and the known falling away, where your past is being metabolized in the here and now, where you are touching profound, yet previously abandoned feelings such as sadness, longing, and despair. Part of what is so difficult about this is that our culture and even our spiritualities have pathologized these experiences. In ways subtle and gross, you have come to see these experiences as somehow obstacles to your path, rather than radiant expressions of the path itself. Will you dare to see that everything here is on your side, working behind the scenes to orchestrate your falling in love?
What if your prayers were always being answered, but the response never actually looked the way you thought it would? Do you really know what love wants from you?
Grace has many faces, friends, and will appear in the sweetest and most fierce ways to reveal your wholeness. One thing is sure though: your pain is intelligent, there is wisdom hidden inside your neurosis, and creativity raging in the core of your sadness, your despair, and your longing. When you provide a home for these abandoned ones, they come alive as messengers of love, sent from the stars to unfold within you.