Tuesday, September 3, 2013

This vulnerability is the gateway into the wild mysteries of love



It can be terrifying to let another really matter: your new lover, your long-term partner, your old friend, your ex-wife or ex-husband, your therapist, your parents, your children, your siblings, your co-workers. It is so risky. What if you’re not met? What if you’re not really seen? Or what if you’re seen through? What if you’re fully exposed?

There is part of you that senses how unsafe this journey really is; it is written in your cells and raging alive throughout your body: If I truly open myself, if I allow myself to be that naked, that uncovered, that unprotected, I might not make it; this level of openness triggers a survival-level sort of anxiety. You wonder if something will actually have to die in order for you to take such a risk. You are on the right track. Something *will* be destroyed in this process. You can feel the protective structures which have formed around your heart starting to dissolve. The panic has returned.

But, friends, this is a sacred panic. Love has appeared yet again, this time in the form of panic, to show you something so precious. She will do anything and everything to find you!

When you open to another in this way, risking *everything* to know the majesty of love and her movement, every unresolved feeling and emotion will come raging to the surface. You want this reality to be negotiable; but you are loved too much. These ones are longing for the light of your awareness, to be allowed in along with the rest. They only want to be held and to be received into the wholeness that you are. Will you give them a home?

Yes, you will be asked to be unbearably vulnerable, and to stay there *forever.* You may even be asked to touch this vulnerable core each and every day for the rest of your life. But it is this vulnerability that is the gateway into the wild mysteries of love.