Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Drink this wine
What would it feel like to let another person matter deeply, to take the risk of letting them all the way in? Will you let them see you as you are – tender, naked, raw, and burning up for love? Will you allow them to touch your most core vulnerabilities? Will you reveal to them your secret need to be held and met, letting them inside even your most scary places?
Oh my. Don’t ask me to do that. I’ll meditate more, pray, do more ritual, take on an endless assortment of spiritual beliefs, attend more satsangs, have more awesome spiritual experiences, worship a guru, go to another workshop, but not that. I don’t know… if… I… will… make… it. The panic has returned.
Many of you have learned the hard way what it means to open to another and not be met, understood, or held. Inside the caverns of your grace-body are neural grooves which remind you – it is not safe, protect yourself, close down, keep the armor intact; do not take the risk! As a little one, you very naturally allowed others to deeply matter for it is part of who you are. You are wired for love. Just take one look at your miracle heart, your precious brain, and your glorious body. Over time, though, you learned that being this raw, this open, and this sensitive is just too much.
And so here you are, friends. You know that only love will heal you, will hold you, will open you; it is only love that is your true refuge and sanctuary. Let love have you. Be willing to let love break you open, and show you how you were never, ever together to begin with. Forget about your fantasies of invulnerability, your great stories of awakening, who you think you are and what you think you know, and fall apart. Drink this wine and be the love-fool that you are.