Why hasn’t the pain gone away? Why do I feel worse right now? Where is my peace? Did I do something wrong? Did the teachers lie? Grace seems so far away, a story dreamt up by fantasists and charlatans.
But stop. Breathe. Be here. Can’t you see, friend, that grace is where you are; not a destination, but a lover; not a goal, but an intimate reality? It’s there in the very struggle, shining through the mess.
Grace can only ‘backfire’ when you try to use her, when she is co-opted for your own personal ends, even your comfort, even your freedom. Seen through wide-open eyes, every moment is what you seek, and grace cannot backfire.