Monday, August 12, 2013

When grace backfires…

You noticed some pain coming up. You sat with it. You tried to allow it, accept it, transform it, heal it, be with it, but it only got worse. Didn’t the teachers say that grace is there in the pain, too? That freedom comes through sitting with whatever arises?

Why hasn’t the pain gone away? Why do I feel worse right now? Where is my peace? Did I do something wrong? Did the teachers lie? Grace seems so far away, a story dreamt up by fantasists and charlatans.

But stop. Breathe. Be here. Can’t you see, friend, that grace is where you are; not a destination, but a lover; not a goal, but an intimate reality? It’s there in the very struggle, shining through the mess.

Grace can only ‘backfire’ when you try to use her, when she is co-opted for your own personal ends, even your comfort, even your freedom. Seen through wide-open eyes, every moment is what you seek, and grace cannot backfire.